“Nobody would believe in the world if they hadn’t spent years used to it. We can study this in children. They are so impressed by everything they see around them that they can’t believe their eyes. That’s why they point here and there and ask about everything they lay their eyes on. It’s different with us adults. We have seen everything so many times before that we take reality for granted,” –The Solitaire Mystery

Stumbling upon this quote the other day just made me want to read The Solitaire Mystery all over again. I must admit that as I grow older, nothing ever surprises me anymore. Everything is just as it is. Nothing makes me excited anymore. And although, I may be the most childlike amongst the people I hang out with, still there’s that sense of childlike innocence in me that has been arbitrated.
For one thing, my strong sense of belief in people and in the fact that there’s some good in everyone has just deteriorated. I don’t know why, maybe because I’ve been burned a number of times by the very same people that I have believed in that right now believing the same mantra just seems bleak.
Its been going on for quite a few months already and I swear, that way of looking at life is just too plain disturbing.
Doing good may be way underrated these days. No one appreciates kindness anymore and hardly anyone does anything to treat people better. They’re too consumed in their own lives that they fail to realize how much their lives would be easier if they forgot about themselves for a moment and remember other people.
I think I’ve mentioned it more than once before that I want to be a missionary after college is done. I want to help people. There’s always that desire in me to help other people and to lend a hand to those people undergoing difficulties.
I still have that hope, but my passion, inasmuch as I hate to admit it, has diminished. Last night, as my mind was battling with sleep, all these thoughts were entering my mind about how less I focused on helping other people these past few days. I think it all boils down to the fact that these days it’s getting harder and harder to trust people. More and more people are accustomed to lying and even though, you want to help, most people take advantage of that.
I guess I’ve been under a narrow perspective. The world is one huge territory with huge amounts of opportunities to help other people more than just financially. Right now, I don’t think I have enough money or resources to actually go on a missionary trip, but I do have my young bones. Meaning that I’m young enough to go into the wild and grab the chance to help other people. I don’t think I’ll be able to be this free or this able to do so in my life. After college, I’m still dead set on going into as many outreach programs as I could and lend my hand to as much people as I could.
I think for the first part of the year I’ve been too consumed with my life that I forgot to realize that the world is NOT ABOUT ME. Michael Scofield once said, “be the change that you want the world to see” Maybe, I was waiting so much for the world to change that I forgot the minute fact that I could change it myself. It may not be a tremendous change, but a change nonetheless.
As I end this entry, I’m not saying that I’m going to be the perfect saint by tomorrow, I’ve lived long enough to know that NO one could ever fill that position. All I’m saying is that maybe tomorrow will be a bit better because finally I stopped focusing on me and how the world could serve me. Instead, I’d start focusing on the world and see how I COULD serve it.