I always read the first few chapters of this book called “forgive and forget, healing the hurts we don’t deserve” but I never got around to finishing it. (Sadly, Harry Potter seems more appealing to me at this point). But what I always remember from this book is that it taught me a thing or two about forgiving. We cannot forgive someone who has hurt us, but we can choose to let it go. Well, over the weekend that’s what I’ve done. You see inasmuch as the Lord has blessed me by sending me to SFC, the tyrants would always be there. By this, I mean the people who work day and night to piss me off. You see there is this one particular group at my school, a group I’ve never had conversations with and yet they loathe the sight of me. I have no idea for all this childish hatin’ and while venting out to my mom yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel a rage of anger. These people (oh how I wish I could say their names!) keep on belittling me and a friend of mine. Why? Well, maybe because they think we are not rich, pretty or popular enough. Whatever, this is not how I want to be judged. I don’t want to be judged based on my these superficialities, but then again I am not like most people (which is why I’m often classified as “odd”) but still rejection, whatever form and where it comes from, hurts. I was so mad and of course resorted to making sumbong to my much loved trust worthy friends, but then a conversation with Ces made me realize a few things.
The Lord has blessed me with so much. And despite a few setbacks, He Has manifested in my life and being mad at these people would only seem ungrateful. The Purpose Driven Life said that we should love the people who are “unlovable”. It’s the hardest thing in the world and I’m a far cry from loving them, but I am ignoring them. For the people who’ve known me and my temper when it comes to these things, they might find this impossible, but the Lord has changed me. I must admit, I am still ticked off by these people and I constantly think, “Who the hell are they to judge me?” but then I stop myself. I’d rather focus on the beauty that this life has offered me, I cannot have it all, but I’ll take whatever is given. To these girls who cannot help but dislike me, well, its your problem, not mine. I just hope that us not liking each other is enough, I hope you don’t go about and spread things about me, not that people would care to listen since we’re in COLLEGE. I just hope you live your “extravagantly” beautiful lives and leave me and my weirdness in our lonesome. I hope you find happiness, cause from my point of view that is what your life sourly lacks. Oh yeah, thank you because now I know how cruel people can truly be and yet despite that I stand strong. 🙂