Its not goodbye

That’s what my good friend and dear batch mate Anna said and it is true. Last wednesday text messages were flooding in and most of them included this sentence, “till we meet again”.
Highschool has ended and a new chapter is about to begin. We are all scared but at the same time excited. We are leaving each other when we so badly want to stay. I am so going to miss highschool but I am also looking forward to starting a new life outside of highschool.
So, my dear seniors ’05 do not be sad. A new world has been opened for us. Let us explore, make the right choices and be models of Christ.It won’t be easy but I’m sure it would be fun. I truly believe we are the best batch. I am proud of all of you and I am really happy that we all graduated. YEEAHHHAAHHHA!=)
See you guys next week for the promised movie cause Anna’s right its not yet goodbye.
I have been blessed because I have spent the last three years with you guys. Never forget to spread the love guys.=)

There is silence but i hear laughter

I just came from a debut, yes a good friend of mine just turned 18. They had cotillion, dancing and everything else needed to make a debut special.
Oh, did I forget to mention that my friend is deaf mute.
Yes, she’s deaf mute and the thinking of a seven year old.
I’ve grown close to this particular girl over the past two weeks, her younger brother is my younger brother’s classmate.
She’s really a sweet girl.
So anyway, I attended the party and of course everyone invited were her classmates who were like her as well. I was deeply overwhelmed and touched by the party.
There they were people my age who couldn’t hear or talk but still tried to dance.
They had disabilities but they were having fun.
It made me think,
these teenagers enjoyed themselves.
No insecurites. No pretensions whatsoever.
It made me feel guilty. I have been blessed with so many things in my life and still I complained on and on.
That party served as an inspiration,
my new friends taught me a thing or two about life and how we should live it.
Even if they couldn’t talk to each other they could still communicate.
Thier laughter and love of live was evident
and no they certainly did not need words for that.

what ill miss about highschool

1) Sir Ben-that’s a given.
2) the smelly canteen. (haha)
3) H.E. practicum.
4) cramming sessions.. (“Jho, hindi ko maintidihan!!)
5) foundation days and all the other events our school made up for the sake of having events.
6) Lance’s accents and drawings.
7) my beautiful desk with lotsa pictures.
8) the highschool hallway.
9) recess
10) third year days.
11)“sir bukas ko na lang ipapass, naiwan ko” -when in fact you didn’t even know that you had to pass something.
12) SF meetings in the field.
13) second year music class.
14) making up some sorry excuse to Sir Apawan since you’ve been late for the third time that week.
15) Sir Apawan a.k.a. dodi daga. (sorry lily!)
16) jen’s corny jokes.
17) ms.monette and her magazines-free time!=)
18) “Si ***** nasa meg ba this month? May Meg na ba?” and everyone answers, “haay naku pano mapupunta sa Meg un?” this leads to an arguement, yours truly defending him of course.
19) “Ang ingay” this comment is made by Ton, Gene and Lance. oh and paolo of course.
20) “Bawal mag computer! Wala ba kayong klase?” we respond, “sir wala!”
21) never ending jokes.
22) the rumors(haha some of them were so silly I swear!)
and most of all..
23)falling in love, arguing, making up,rekindling broken friendships, growing up.

there are still a lot but that sums it all up…
batch 2004-2005
Keep in touch..
i love you all very very much!!=)

dean or jess?

So,what did I do for the Holy Week.
Nothing,I tell you.
I didn’t go out of town.
But I was able to reflect.
Aside from that I was also able to watch an eleven episode marathon
of Gilmore Girls last Thursday.
it was so cool.

So, here comes the next question.
Dean or Jess?

Seriously I was thinking of it myself.
Okay, so you’ve been with dean for two years
and Jess comes along,
what do you do?
They’re exact opposites.
One’s reliable,
and one’s a rebel.
So, what does a girl do?
Not that I am ever going to encounter something like that,
but its something you think about when your totally bored.
I came up with this conclusion:
I go for Dean.
I mean Jess is HOT and all,

but Dean would never ever not call when he said he would.
I don’t care if he shows up with two tickets to some concert,
he has to call me when he said he would.
Is that too much to ask? I have no idea.
I’ve never been in a relationship,
so I wouldn’t know.
But back to the topic.
I chose Dean because I want someone reliable.
I chose Dean cause I know he wouldn’t hurt me even if he tried.
I chose Dean becauseI know he’ll be there all the time.
I chose Dean because he’d treat me the way I want to be treated.
Too bad cause in real life,
I don’t see any Dean in the horizon.

Life’s little miracles.

I haven’t written in over a week and my friends have been worried sick.
Just in case you are wondering how’s school and my friends.
Well, they’re great.
And I am sorry.
A lot has happened over the days I haven’t blog.
And I don’t think I would gain this perspective if I haven’t knelt down
and cried my heart out to My Lord.
It happened last Saturday and unfortunatley,
I was in the “hole” again.
I felt so alone,
and I felt as if I was going nowhere in life.
Until I prayed.
Don’t get me wrong,
I pray everyday,

its just that this time it was different.
I mean I pray everyday after my devotions,
but this was different.
I was reading a book the other day and I came across this,
“Blessed are the weak. For when we are at our weakest,
we leave everything behind and lean on God.”
That’s what happened to me.
I was at my weakest and the only thing that I could do
was trust God.
I should have done a long time ago.
But I was too afraid to let go and let God lead the way.
I feel so much better about everything.
My friends.
My family.

My self.
My choices
and my future.
It is all in His hands.
On a lighter note, I am graduating in a week!
Can you believe that a week and im out of highschool.
I sure feel like Jessica Darling from Sloppy Firsts and second helpings.
Still believe in destiny.
I still believe that there’s someone out there for me.

And I don’t have to do anything.
I just have to focus on other things
and believe that the Lord would bring Him to me
at the right time and place.
When I’m ready.
I am writing this down now because I may not be able to blog
again in a few weeks, so I’m taking advantage.
Thank you guys for everything. As I’ve said in my yearbook thanks,
I thank you for the laughter, the tears and the lessons learned.These were the best times of my life and I don’t regret any of it.
Sorry you know tempermental I am.
There are still a lot of things I want to say,but this sums it all up:
“Ill miss you loads. Keep in touch”
Heck, I know we will. Tayo pa!=)
I love you guys.=) *mwah*
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you
and not to harm you. Plans to give you a Hope and a future”
Jeremiah 29:11
There are great things in store for us.
All we have to do is lean on Him.

Life isn’t supposed to be easy

I’d like to think that these are just one of those days,
or one of those weeks,
or one of those months.
I’d like to say that life is perfect and rosy.
I’d like to, but that would be a lie.
Some may call it issues, some may call it my usual drama antics.
I have no idea what to call it.
But if this is metamorphosis, why does it hurt so much?
Why do I have to go through a lot to reach that “point”.
Why have my so called friends suddenly lost interest on me?
Why don’t they even call to explain what’s going on.
They have just turned thier backs without a word whatsoever.
I thought my senior year would be trival.
I thought my senior year would be unforgettable.
I’m not even on that stage and I want to forget about highschool
Okay, so it wasn’t that bad,but it was still forgettable.
What did I do wrong?
I’ve tried my best to be fair and just,
but no, they still judge.
I am so sick of pleasing people who don’t even care.
I am thankful for my old friends who accept me for me.
I am sorry to be saying this but it is the truth.
My soon to be alma mater is sick with something that is hard to
Crab Mentality.
That’s what thier sick with.
Nobody ever wants someone to succed or change.
Its not something Im proud of and I am not exempting myself
from this.
I used to be like that,
come on if the crowd is like that most likely
you would be like them.
But I chose to turn away from it.
Do I get backup on my decisions?
No, the reason why I no longer have friends.
I thought they were real friends,
I was proven wrong.
I am thankful for my old and rusted friends,
they never left.
They never judged.
Thank You.
I could choose to remain bitter for the rest of my life.
I could choose to remember every hurt and not move on.
I could choose to do that but then I’ve decided
to use these things to motivate me to become better.
I want things to be better.
I’m gonna work for it.
Trust me on this.

*dora, will, jack and grace*

You know what got me out of my “snooty” mood?
Dora, the little explorer.
Seriously, it is so fun to watch and you get to learn a little spanish too.
Its so funny.
And Will and Grace.
OMG, it could take me out of the “hole” more often than you think.
It is so funny.
Make Dora and Will (actually Jack’s the funniest!) your new bestfriends.
You’ll never regret it.=)
oh, and who could forget karen?

things are better

I’ve had enough drama to last my a week,
no a month actually!
Things are generally better.
I am better.
I’ve gotten over all the negative thinking
and I’ve done enough lashing out yesterday.
School’s almost almost done,
all we ever have to do are those graduation practices and recordings.
Honestly, I don’t know how to feel.
Its as if I want to move on but then stay.
I don’t know if this is once again my paranoia working

but I feel as if my friends have changed overnight.
I am not sure if I did something to offend them,
or this is just my imagination working.
I really don’t know.
I hope that things get cleared soon.
Everyone should watch The Pacifier,

it stars Vin Diesel and it is actually the first time I found him cute.
Its a really cute film.
Go see.
I am in particular happy state today.
Happy and Content.
The Lord can truly do miracles.

Its in those little things we tend to neglect.
Miracles are everywhere,
waiting to be found.

booshy-nosey day.

I have no idea why I named this entry that,
I don’t even know what it means.
I just seem to feel that way today,
booshy and nosey.
Why nosey?
Well, I cried myself to sleep last night and

still I was crying this afternoon.
Okay, nothing major happened and I don’t know why
I feel oh so sad.
Okay, I have my reasons.
But since Im trying to be an optimistic person,
I really don’t think I should write down all my rantings in detail.
I’m really trying so hard to focus on the positive and not the negative,
but sometimes it rubs in your face and you lose track of what’s important.
That’s how I’m feeling today.
Really depressed.
Again, I was watching that local game show earlier
and again it featured kids.
One of the reasons why I cried today was watching those kids
who again were working for a living.
I know its unfair for me to complain about things,
when I am so blessed in life.
So,I asked for God to help me channel
all these pain into something positive.
Like helping out.
And im not helping others out
because its the “beauty queen” thing to do,
Im actually helping others out because its what I want to do.
Why do people always tend to judge and compare and so on?
Why can’t they just keep thier mouths shut if they have nothing nice to say?
Is that so hard?!
Why can’t people just understand that words are hurtful?!
That words could pierece through the heart and leave
wounds that could take years to heal.
You try to run away from the things said and done to you in the past.
But it haunts you.
It never stops haunting you especially when your at your weakest.
I’m at my weakest now
and its killing me.
So, please if you have nothing nice to say just shut up.

Criticzing someone doesn’t make you a better or bigger person.
So, please.
Oh and my real friends are lost if you ever found them
please tell them im looking for them.


1)Go to Ireland.
2)Go to Boracay.
3)Finish writing a novel (even if it never gets published)
4)Learn two new languages.
5)Help in those build-a- home things.
6)Help in as many charities as I could.
7) Learn how to paint/draw
8)Buy myself a car
9)Buy myself a house
10) Take my parents to London.
11) Fall in love.
So, I only have one more test to go before my senior year is over.
Technically, it isn’t over yet for another two weeks,
but still.
The sentiment’s there.
Everybody should try jollibee’s chicken torpedo and fish fillet.
It’s soooo good and really cheap.
I still haven’t tried mcdo’s king something,
but shan said it was really good.
I should try that.