And not it’s not with Nathan Scott just yet!
My three week stint in Tagaytay ended yesterday and I’m still crying (I have proven that tear ducts do NOT dry up!). I miss the kids terribly, there’s also that fear of going back to my reality on Monday and it hits like a cold bucket of cold water.
Reality is, I do not want to go back.
I want to go back to Tagaytay (even if the place was shittttyy at its best) and be with the kids. The six hours I spend with them everyday is nothing compared to the fulfillment and joy that I feel. It’s crazy to be loved that way and what’s even more amazing is the fact that I could love that way as well.
That’s the reason why I’m having difficulty letting go, it’s because I didn’t know that I had it in me. I didn’t know that I could love like that unconditionally. I’m afraid of letting go because if i’m put in a rather nasty working environment, then I might retort to my old defensive ways (you know the whole prey-predator drama, yes it exists in the workplace!) and I really don’t want that to happen.
I’m liking the person that I have become in the past three weeks. I guess, it’s always been there, not that I’m bragging or being self-righteous: there are just two sides to every person and I’m liking that side more than the psycho, defensive one.
There are some people that you have to let go of since they don’t do you any good while there are some people you keep, but as I keep on saying, there are people who are only meant to be in your life for a short while.
I do hope I keep in touch with my eight angels and meet so many more along the way. This is just the beginning.
So, no more bitchy moments from me! No more wishing I was somebody else and basically enough about this whole “me” thing. Hopefully, I’ll touch more lives this year 🙂