A year’s worth of things I never got to say to you so if you’re smart enough to read this then maybe I got through to you after all:

1) “How do you get better once you’ve had the best?”

2) I really wish that this whole egomaniac persona of yours would die soon because to me you’re that kid who stays in front of the computer playing some silly computer game. You don’t do drugs, you don’t do friends with benefits and you don’t do partying all weekend. You are a mama’s boy through and through, I’ve always loved you for it.

3) If I could freeze the moment when you walked in the room when I first met you, I would because that moment could make up for all the times that we’ve lost and the times that I’ve cried.

4) I used to hate you for making me cry, but now I’m thankful for it because you’ve made me better without even knowing it.

5) You know that thump thump thump? I still feel it when I see you. My knees still go weak, my heart lurches into overdrive and butterflies that have been hiding for over a year manifest themselves and I feel alive again. You still make me feel alive.

6) Nobody ever came close, so don’t believe what you hear. No one and I dare say no one ever came close.

7) Every guy I meet is now measured against you and demnit! You’re rare so guess how the others feel?! Guess how I feel?!

8) I haven’t felt anything for anyone in a long time and yes, it’s your fault.

9) SAYANG NOH?

10) So you want to change everything that has happened before? Don’t even try because it happened for a reason, let’s just move forward this time with lessons learned and greater understanding, darling, I never loved you any less anyway.