A Daydreamer’s Dilemma


C: Dallas Clayton

One of my absolutely favorite things to do is to daydream. Daydreaming plus perfect playlist= BAM i have basically planned our future wedding in one car ride.

Of course other things I daydream about include being able to travel the world in five years, receiving the Nobel Prize and how it feels when Ted Mosby finally meets me.

My parents, teachers and concerned adults told me when I was younger that one day I will stop daydreaming and see life for what it is.

The day has not come yet and  I think those adults are still patiently (?) waiting for me to grow up, because even at 24, I’m still secretly waiting for Peter Pan to swoop me away to Neverland (I wish this was a joke . . .).

Daydreaming is fun and while I don’t think I’ll ever get over it (seriously, what is better than thinking of an airport scene with Maroon 5’s Daylight in the background? See!), I think I have realized that maybe, and this is really a MAJOR thing for me to admit, some dreams are not meant to come true.

And I think my heart just shattered in a million little pieces.

You see, I’m quite relentless with my dreams.

There are days when I think that even at my age, I would still get the chance to be on Ang TV and still be able to marry Tim Tebow. I also still think that one day, I will get that prom proposal that I never got in high school. There are daydreams that involve normal people but I have decided to put them on hold to lessen my embarrassment.

I’m also quite the cheerleader for my friends and always sigh a bit when they settle for less than what I think they deserve, but then again, I’m not in the position (though I’m always one to remind them) to tell them what’s best for them and what’s not.

I guess, part of growing up with parents who pushed me to become the best is to realize that I deserve the best in everything and I cringe every time I think of settling.

But where was I? Oh, daydreams.

Last Thursday, I was in an all out pity party (yes because none of you ever feel bad about yourself every once in awhile) and my forever cheerleader, Dea said something that most inauthentic friends wouldn’t say. Basically, in her loving, sister like manner, she told me that I was always looking for other things instead of being content with where I am and who I’m with.

Again, it’s the inherent achiever attitude that always makes me think that there’s something better in the corner.

However, that particular text message seeped through my heart simply because, I must admit, there are days when I’m not particularly over the moon over things I can’t control.

But today, I’m thankful to be reminded. I’m thankful because when you really look at it, God has truly blessed me in more ways that I could have ever imagined and I know that the best is yet to come.

I’m thankful for the people and opportunities He has littered my path with and I don’t dare to spend another day being ungrateful simply because one area of my life isn’t fixed (yet?!). But I’m grateful, with all my heart, I really am grateful because I could never deserve it but could only pay it forward.

So yes, there are days when I cry because life doesn’t measure up to my daydreams, but in a way, I am also thankful for that because it means God has blessed me with a creative enough mind to dream up of scenarios that may never happen in real life, but at least can entertain others and allow myself to escape Manila traffic even if just for awhile.