here i go, wearing my heart on my sleeve..


There’s this myth that I’ve heard of when I was younger: “Never wear your heart on your sleeve. Never show emotion, always play a game. Never show someone that they mean a whole lot to you.”

There’s also a three day rule. There’s also a rule that says you should always be mysterious and there’s another stupid rule that goes when you like someone, always push them away, intimidate them and see if they’re strong enough to stay.
And at 21, i am sick and tired of all these rules. Can’t it be “I-like-you-you-like-me-let’s-hang-out.” Nothing of the stupid, “i’ll-call-her-tonight-act-totally-cool-then-ignore-her-for-the-next-couple-of-days”.
I have no room for it in my life. It’s tiring, pretensious and more often than not, you don’t end up with the person you really want to be with because you’re too busy being stupid. And i’m writing this because i’m sick and tired of all these rules.
I’m sick and tired of feeling deflated because of rejection, in one way or another.
I’m a freakeen woman, not some toy that you play games with.
Most of my guy friends tell me I come too strong because I never play the game and immediately go on deleting someone’s number if he doesn’t reply the first time around.
I don’t fit into a specific stereotype and i’m comfortable with it. I’ve come to realize that I’ve worked so hard just to be blindsided by some idiot who can’t text or call or even reply.
However, that doesn’t mean i’m this fire breathing monster, I still get overly giddy over the simplest things like remembering things we talked about (why do guys always forget?), that certain twinkle in someone’s eye can make my day and a little conversation about nothing can go a long way.
I’m not some monster. I know how to feel and appreciate things.
But what displeases me is the fact that all these wonderful things are tainted once you open up to the reality that none of them are real and it’s all part of this game that the world has been accustomed to for the longest time.
Where’s the truth? Should we spend most part of our days agonizing over the numerous rules that we must do?

Or can we have a better alternative?
Be a man. Say something, but most importantly do something because if you don’t, all these little butterflies that I feel aren’t worth anything at all.
Because just like anything else in my life, you’re only of worth if you don’t try to rip me apart.
(I was supposed to end with that, but come on, why have something in your life that constantly tortures you? I say DELETE THE NUMBER and move on!)