Journey Smasher


I have always prided myself in being a tough, optimistic little lady (okay, I’m 5’8 so I don’t think I’m anything but little), however, today, I just want to CRY and BREAK THINGS.

I have never quite said it before but I must admit, life is unfair. I have unselfishly clung on to the belief that there is some fairness in this life for so long, but my hands burn from the pain of holding on to that belief for so long.

I have been quite the Little Miss Sunshine for awhile now but today, I am just fed up.

I have always believed that good people win in the end and if you work hard enough, dreams come true & prayers are answered.

Now with constant disappointments slamming from all sides, I just want to unleash the woman in me that rarely gets out.

I want to be MAD, but more than anything, I also want to crawl in the corner & CRY until I couldn’t anymore.

Life isn’t fair. When it comes to me, I don’t really care but when it comes to the people I love being disappointed, I just want to go out there and smash things.

It is entirely okay for me to be disappointed about certain things in my life- I have long given up on areas that obviously aren’t meant to be mine but when it comes to those I love, I wish I could turn things around and make it right for them.

Today, I want to take a break from all the “it’s-going-to-be-okay” and just cry for a moment.

I know that tomorrow is another day and the reason God closed certain doors is because He has other, better ones opening.

But that doesn’t take the mighty pain away.

I guess feeling this way makes me human and it also leaves me empty of what I have previously believed in.

Maybe this is the time to reevaluate the way I view life & the way I see things.

It is yet another opportunity to open my heart to the One who created me and allow him to change me through yet again, another tough blow.

It is in moments like this one that I am drawn closer to Him and the only way I am thoroughly cleansed.

The journey begins again & while we cannot stop it from moving forward, we do have the right to take a deep breath, let it all out and strengthen up so we can have the courage to pray for better days.