Mama, The Rockstar


When I was younger, people would often tell me that you would get to a certain age when your mom becomes more than just an authority figure, she actually becomes your friend.
It’s safe to say that I’ve never quite met anyone pretty much like my mother. Most people would be quick to assume that she’s a helicopter mom, but more than being the constant voice in my head telling me what she thinks is best for me, my mom, over the years, has indeed turned into my very best friend.
I wish I could be one of those people who hid things from their parents but the truth is, whenever I get news, whether good or bad, the first people I think of sharing it with is my parents, the main constants in my life. Over the years, my parents have seen me win and lose in life. Being quite the emotional child out of their four kids, they have also seen me retreat to my hole far too many times when hurt, betrayed, or just disappointed with life.
My dad would always remind me to be tough when life decides to be a witch the way he is but my mom would sit with me for hours, for days, and for weeks constantly rehashing the situation trying to find a loophole that could be the way to her daughter’s happiness. My mom, just like me, can be ridiculously optimistic. To this day, even on days when I don’t agree with her often-unsolicited advice, I value her voice above all else. It’s her that I run to when my heart is happy and when my heart is broken without realizing that seeing her daughter going through such emotions makes her emotional as well.
It wasn’t until a good family friend pointed it out to me that when I hurt, my mom hurts too, maybe ten times worse and this is something I have never been grateful for. Maybe because I’m not a mom that I don’t understand this kind of illogical love that wishes to shield another from all the chaotic pain of the world. I never realized that as I wept, my mom’s heart wept with me. There were days when I was so into deep the depths of my monsters that I didn’t realize that my mom was hurting for me too. I’ve failed to value and be grateful over the fact that I am blessed with a mom who wishes for her children to be happy and who cries when they do. There are moms who are not as involved in their children’s life but today, more than on any other day, I appreciate my mom more for being so involved in the details of my life that she knows what’s going on without me having to say a word. Her strong desire to see her children happy encourages me to make better life choices and to stop settling for people who don’t take care of me the way she my parents do. I was settling so low when I have already been gifted with the best kind of love right at home. To choose to settle was disrespect to the love they have freely given me.
So on this mother’s day, I wish to commend her and mothers around her who carry not just the weight of their own world, but also the weight of the world around them: the emotions of their kids and their partners. It’s true when they say there is nothing like a mother’s love, so if you are a mother and you’re feeling underappreciated today, know that even they don’t say it, your family loves you and the work you do is the core of the people you love.
Mothers are a safe place kids can return to no matter how old they get and today, I show my appreciation to my security blanket, my mom. Love you ma, you make all the difference in my world.
Do me a favor and hug your mom today, you may not always see it, but she loves you the best way she knows how and on most days, that is more than enough.