Not for Me


The phrase was coined by one of today’s most beloved feminists although I couldn’t quite place which one of the three: Mindy Kaling, Amy Poehler, or Tina Fey. I’ve read their books around the same time and my exhaustion from the gym is getting in the way of my memory at the moment. 

But anyway, one of those three brilliant women said this and it never quite resonated with me until tonight. 
As children, we have always been told that we can do anything and while there is truth to the fact that yes, we can do anything, there’s also truth to the nugget that we can’t do everything. 
We are all created and wired differently and as cheesy as it may sound there’s truth to the saying that we all have different purposes in life. 
I think most of our struggles in life stem from wanting to be someone that we’re not. When we see people thrive in certain areas, we quickly assume that that too is what would define success for us or make us happy. Being an obsessive compulsive A plus personality individual have made me think of life as black and white with no greys in between. 
For awhile, I thought there was a formula as to how life should be lived without realizing the golden truth that I can define that for myself. That I can take life slow, see what I like and don’t like and act upon it based on the values I grew up with. 
Most importantly, I’ve come to realize that life shouldn’t be lived as a way to feed into an image of who I want to be. 
Authenticity is becoming a big theme of my year and by allowing myself to fully know which things are for me and aren’t for me, I am slowly learning to be authentic in a way that is kind to myself and those around me. 
By saying “not for me”, I am learning to accept that there are certain women I can never be no matter how inspired I am by them while at the same time, there are are parts of myself that I effortlessly become because that’s who I am supposed to be.
I don’t know about you but it feels so good having not to compete with anyone. After playing that game from the moment I turned seven, there is freedom in knowing that I am okay as I am and that there is no longer anything to prove to anyone and in it, I find contentment, I find peace.
By boldly saying “not for me”, I am also welcoming all the things that are for me and in the short while that I have, it has been nothing but glorious.