Trainwreck no more.


I’ve always liked Demi Lovato. She’s always smiling and is always so vibrant.

And for awhile there, I thought she handled her fall out with Joe Jonas quite well.

Until today.

Demi Lovato apparently is nothing like Mitchie on Camp Rock.

She has an eating disorder, cuts herself and has anger management issues brought about by years of torment and ridicule.

The only reason i feel so affected is because at one point, I was ridiculed and blasted. I was bullied too.

And the residue could never be a good one. A dark side of it murks inside of us, waiting to be unleashed.

Trauma from physical injuries disappear in time but words hardly escape us.

It always lingering, always haunting us.

And the words build up. Creating a monster in us we cannot run away from.

We start to believe what is said about us.

I wish I could tell you there’s a way out on our own strength but there isn’t.

There’s only one way and it’s through God, our heavenly Father.

Believe me, i’ve tried to run away from being the fat girl in high school and i thought i could never return to it but a glimpse of highschool friends and i’m sucked in again.

No remedy has tried and compliments from people only made me feel undeserving.

I was alone and I was in a deeper hole than ever.

Until, I finally surrendered to the truth that nothing in this life could ever heal or replace what the enemy has taken away.

That I can’t fully move forward to God’s best if I clung on to the ugly past and all the baggage i had been carrying around.

To replace all the ugliness in my life, I needed to step into God’s light and goodness and in a way that my words could never explain, God’s love took over my life.

It’s so incredible — the depth of it you could only know and speak of if you experienced it yourself.

Immersed in His love, i was lost in His goodness and in His grace, I found freedom.

Freedom in knowing that I no longer needed to depend on material possessions, fake friendships and nasty boyfriends.

And for the first time in my life, i am standing on solid rock with only His grace sustaining me.

And although it’s a process, slowly i am letting go, the words no longer hurting me or leaving me fearful.

I stand in awe of my Maker because He is all I long for and yet, He does not disappoint.

And it’s my fervent wish that everyone, most especially women find this kind of love that overpowers all pain and empowers us.

It’s the only love that truly matters.