It’s been a month and a few days since I turned thirty and though I have always marked my birthday with a list of lessons I would take into the new year. 30 was a milestone birthday and surely, I intended for it to be a happy one. But as with most things in life, they never truly turn out to be what we expect it to be.
What I thought would be a grand trip somewhere turned out to be a quiet day of self-care with my favorite book in our little apartment. I had a lot of feelings and emotions leading up to my birthday that I had to sort through. I needed to realign my heart, my mind, and my soul and most of the time, it is never quite as beautiful as our Instagram photos suggest.
My dear husband blessed me the cake of my dreams and a yummy Italian Dinner at Mi Piace in Pasadena. It was a quiet night of revel and celebration – also the day after our 2nd wedding anniversary and the quiet dinner did lift my mood that was until the most ironic thing happened – I got hit in the head with a parking boom.
The paramedics were called, I was a bit hysterical because of my long history of watching too many medical shows (I literally asked the paramedic if I had internal bleeding), and just coming to terms with life for what it is. It was a literal bump in the head that also awakened something inside of me – it’s okay to not like where you are in the current moment but it’s important to understand that you are never stuck anywhere.
Since then, I have been doing a lot of internal cleansing and meditation as I prepare for a new chapter in my life. It’s all about letting go of the old, forgiving others (oh boy, it’s a long process), forgiving ourselves, and for me especially – not being ashamed of going after what I want. To not be scared to go after what I want for me and my little family and to not be constrained by limits others have put upon me.
It’s only been a month 30 but I am grateful to you for showing me the importance of growing my own wings and soaring – despite the many times I have failed to fly.
I would have more stories to tell you but for now, I bask in the silence and quiet of my life.