– Matthew 6:8 (MSG)
I am Little Miss Know It All and me admitting it could be the first step to total freedom.
Eversince I was a pesky seven year old, I always knew that my way was the best way and everything else was simply not good enough because I was not the one who worked on it.
So imagine the difficulties I faced (still face) on a daily basis because I know I have to give everything to God and trust that His plans for me are for the good.
I have probably written about this a million times and yet I still struggle with it everyday (Thank you Lord for grace!) simply because I am an idealistic dreamer.
Up until a few days ago, I have always thought that I will have a perfect life (most especially in specific areas of my life) and disliked the idea of anything else than what I have imagined take place.
But then I realized that someone knows my heart more than I do — my maker.
My ideals for the past 23 years may have not been based on what God has for me simply because I may have molded my heart based on the truths of the world but not His truth.
And on days when all my choices have fallen apart I have come to realize that there is a reason why Jesus is asking me to surrender it to Him.
On my own, I am messy and often act out of my emotions without seeing the big picture. Giving all the pieces to Jesus enables me to rest while He works the details out.
I truly do not know God’s plans for me and I really don’t know where I’m going next, but my confidence relies on God who sees everything from beginning to the end.
And I know soon enough I’ll be living my God given dreams instead of my own selfish dreams and on that day, I’ll be glad that God allowed me to surrender it all to Him.
Part of surrendering to God is knowing that His plans may never be aligned with mine, and that scares me and at the same time, frees me because finally it is not up to me and the smallness of who I am, instead everyday I know that there is someone bigger than me, someone who knows exactly what He is doing and I can rely on His greatness and goodness. I know that His love is the only love that I don’t have to second guess because it is the love that gave the best for me even before I knew who He was.