I went to church yesterday and once again Pastor Paul has challenged me (and the other people wide awake in the eight o’clock service) to love the unlovable. I started fidgeting in my seat because in as much as I have loved a certain number of unlovable-s in my lifetime, it does not get easier every single time. Pastor Paul is probably the only person who could make me do that, I was joking with my mom after the service that if Pastor Paul was handed the Dragon Lady, I wonder if he could love her too. JUST KIDDING. But it made me think, the world is ugly as it is, what would happen if we go on hating every single person we meet? Besides, that would only add wrinkles that my face doesn’t need yet. A heavy burden has been lifted from my shoulders ever since I stopped hating and begun loving, it’s a beautiful world after all.
I need a vacation. I need to sleep in. I need to get up later than six thirty am. But I think my body clock has gotten used to it and refuses to wake up later than six, my body would think it’s committing a crime if it wakes up later than seven. Three days of vacation is all I need, okay maybe two. Okay ONE DAY! PLEASE!
I just read a blog entry by my good, long-lost happy to be found again friend, Abi on self-related issues. You know insecurity about our weight (why is it a constant struggle anyway?). And it just really made me feel good about myself and made me laugh about my flaws. God knows I’ll never be reed-stick think but whoever said I wasn’t pretty the way I am anyway? It’s been awhile since I looked at myself in the mirror with glee. But just five minutes ago, I did. This is who I am. I’ve learned to love who I am. I would no longer be stuck inside a box that I didn’t even choose to enclose myself in. I’m beautiful and guess what, you are too.
I’ve made a decision that would change my life forever and probably only a handful of my nearest and dearest know what I’m talking about. Haha. I’ve been crying just thinking of the decision I’ve made just because it’s something I have not been used to. It’s ultimately going to change my life but it’s a good change and I’m really looking forward to it. Can you tell I’m excited? LIKE HELL YEAH! It’s time to grow up Carla! =)