Author: admin

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when i grow up, i want to be like…

in early 2005, i was a wide eyed sixteen year old and the biggest dork you could ever find, always hiding away behind my books and Hilary Duff movies.

and just like any high school junior, and in the early 2000s, when magazines were a big thing, my classmates and i spent countless hours (often during math class) pouring over models, new clothes that we could never buy and gloating candy cutties who are probably dads now and in those sessions were the first time i encountered my two biggest girl crushes who inspired me to start my own blog: Patty Laurel (dapattylaurel.blogspot.com) and Bianca Gonzalez (iamsuperbianca.blogspot.com/iamsuperbianca.com).
Aside from them being both from Ateneo, i also admired them because their beauty have always seem to radiate from the inside and that was something that magazines and make up could never, ever produce. 
their genuine personalities radiated right through their blogposts, i have never come across women who are so empowered and so positive and because of that it gave me the courage (with the pushing of my guy best friend, paolo) to start my very own blog and so i did.
i’d like to think that part of the reason why i’ve grown up to be positive is because i’ve always admired women who don’t just value style, fashion and the latest trends but also intelligence and just being kind to everyone that they meet.
which is why it is safe to say that it is important for you to admire women who are beautiful not just on the outside but on the inside as well, women who take time to invest in their dreams and strong enough to follow through to take on the world and yet still stay amazingly kind to help those who aren’t quite there yet.
so just in case you do come across my humble blog, thank you to the both of you, though you may never know it, you have inspired one girl to be strong enough to write about her adventures and who continues to write about it seven years later. may you continue to inspire other girls through your writing. 
and to the other girls reading this: may this blog entry inspire you, in one way or another to celebrate who you are because once upon a time, because these two girls have chosen to take the time to write, have inspired my love affair with writing, something that has become a huge part of my life and for that i am forever grateful, i can only wish to be half of the women that they are when i grow up.
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hits, misses and moving forward

“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”


– Philippians 3:13-14 (MSG)

i don’t know exactly when it happened, but it did. somehow in between bruised knees, geometry problems yet to be solved and lesson plans, i grew up.


i know everyone does at one point but however, i clung on to my pixie dust and my own version of Neverland littered with chick literature, cookies and Lizzie Mc Guire, I grew up.

and when i say grow up it doesn’t mean that everything is finally in place or i have everything figured out, there are still a lot of things God is dealing with and i’m okay with that but somehow in the center of all the chaos, there is peace.

there is peace in knowing that i am not yet where I want to be but God has me where He wants me to be right now and that is okay. there is no need for competition or running ahead, in God’s kingdom as I trust in Him and as I trust in His plan for me, I know that He will lead me to where He wants me to be.

there is peace in knowing that maybe i have made bad choices before and have been plagued by wrong choices when it comes to the people i have allowed inside my life but that it’s okay since there’s forgiveness and a whole lot of lessons that i would otherwise have not learned otherwise.

so yes there have been a lot of misses but God is faithful and in a way that only He can, He has also turned my misses into the best hits of my life so far.

so i can only keep moving forward because God has great and beautiful things in store.

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just one of those things.

i would love for it to happen today.

i don’t know why but lately, now that girls have gained more ‘power’ so to speak, admitting that you actually want to be with someone is shameless. ever since ne-yo came out with “Miss Independent” wanting to be with someone has become a crime.

now i am not saying that you should desperately seek for a guy (something that i detest to this day) but maybe it is okay to admit that you are human sometimes.

i’ve been praying for my very own version of Jake Ryan since I read ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ when I was 12 but so far, eleven years later, God has not been budging. And I have done countless things in those eleven years and yet the void remains.

There are days (a lot of days) that I breeze through the days without thinking about it, but there are days when my status glare so brightly, i cannot avoid it even if i was wearing my shades.

for most people, reminding me of my status is a hobby, a way of life, while some people applaud me for ‘being so good at being alone’.

honestly, i wouldn’t know simply because i’ve always been alone. i’ve always relied heavily on myself and have never been in a serious, long lasting relationship long enough to know if it is actually worth anything. i have been a cynic, a hopeless romantic and oblivious to it.

but today, i just feel a little bout of sadness.

however, i look back on my 12 year old self with determination. she has never, ever given up on the belief that someday, someday someone would look at her and immediately know that she was the one God created for Him.

honestly, i still don’t understand why girls try to chase after guys when in fact, you don’t have to lift a finger when it comes to the guy God has prepared for you. most people say that in order to find the guy perfect for you, it is important for you to ‘go out there’ (i.e.: get drunk) and explore.

but i still uncompromisingly believe that God’s plans are far greater than any of my shallow ways of ‘meeting’ and ‘bumping’ into guys ‘randomly’.

i believe that God’s love story for me is far greater than any games, social networking sites or running after a guy. God created me to be pursued and i know that one day, i would look back and know that it was worth the wait.

it was worth going through lonely days like this one and worth the tears and the prayer.

girls, it is okay to feel lonely, but never make it an excuse to simply settle for less, instead use as an opportunity to be molded in the One who loves you the most. It’s okay, He can take your tears and your questions and once you let it all out, He will soon reveal to you a sense of comfort that no man can ever ever give you.

so cry for a bit, pray, then let it go.

the man God has prepared for you is out there being molded the same way you are and when you look into His eyes, you would be extremely glad that you waited.

- admin Leave a comment

i remember the days when it was just me and you bloggie. i also remember the days when it would take me two weeks before i could update this blog site of mine. i also remember that life was simpler and i had more time to read when facebook and twitter wasn’t beside me 24/7.

today i decided that i needed to take a break from the fake way of making and connecting with friends.

i’m sure i’ll be back one day, but maybe today isn’t that day. i need a break.

but don’t worry bloggie, i am pretty loyal to you and will probably be here more often now.