Author: admin

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i have not been as consistent with 365 as i have been in its first year and i kind of feel guilty for it.

but then i realized that maybe that’s because this year is meant to be different from the last.

it is the fifth month of the year and i feel as if i have become an entirely different person.

none of my solid wishes at the beginning of the year has come true, but at this point, i really could care less about those silly, shallow wishes.

It is quite true, what the devil has meant for evil, God will turn around for my good.

Now, I’m not expecting for specific things but that doesn’t mean that i’m not expecting anything at all.

in fact, i’m expecting for God to move in ways that He could only think of. i have stopped making stories in my head, simply because I know God will work in ways that only He can and that whatever the situation is, it is for our good and for His glory.

everyday i wake up knowing that God will work in whatever situation i’m in and do through me what only He can.

looking forward to the next seven months of the year, it could be filled with nothing but awesome things.

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i don’t understand it.

there’s an argument that’s been going on in my head for weeks.

i have to let this go in order for God to be able to work through it.

but it is just so hard to let go, so so hard.

but i have to trust Him, i’ve tried it my way for so long and none of it seems to be working.

so i’m letting it go.

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“just love yourself and you’re set…”

if i had a white t-shirt in high school it would probably say a few things: fat girl, tall girl, dark girl.

kids these days are quite lucky to have tv shows like Glee who try their best to fight against bullying.

the main reason for this may also be due to the fact that bullying cases have increased in the past ten years.

but this blog entry is not for those facts.

it’s just amazing that the issues that children face these days have not changed.

it’s still about not being pretty enough, not being thin enough, not being chinita enough, not being white enough, or even at one point, also not being short enough.

and what’s even worse is, nobody told me that i was okay the way i was, for some people i was okay until i *did something extreme to make me feel good about myself*.

during those dark years, i despised myself and only felt good when i had nothing but crackers to live on. i also colored my hair and avoided the sun at all costs so i can finally be mestiza like my sister (still one of the most beautiful people i know).

but even when i reached my goal for like three seconds, i never felt good about myself, simply because i was getting validation from people who were just as confused as i was.

what’s worse was, nobody told me that it was okay to be who i was. everyone i talked to said, i would be okay when *insert something impossible here*

but that was never what it was.

these days being beautiful has nothing to do with being white, skinny, short, tall or chinita…

being beautiful is knowing whose I belong to. being beautiful is knowing who I am and being happy with who I am and being beautiful has a lot to do with seeing everyone i meet as beautiful in their own way too.

it’s a fact that that the faults we see in others is what desperately try to hide in ourselves.

so just in case you’re not feeling the best today, let me remind you that you are beautiful the way you are, you don’t need to change anything about you.
and if someone tells you that you do have to change to be beautiful, then it’s time to let go of that person and see yourself the way your Creator sees you: exceptionally beautifully, crafted perfectly and with a purpose.

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a lonely heart’s cry

it must be incredible to meet you at the right time.

at this moment, i seriously have no idea who you are.

i’ve had ideas before, but today, all of those ideas have been huffed and puffed into nothing but smoke.

i know what it is that i have to do before our paths cross (do i sense an again? or is it an entirely new path), but i know that you are out there.

i know that God placed this dream in my heart of meeting you for a purpose, although it is important for me to let go of that dream today in order for us to come together at the right time.

i can’t wait to meet you. i can’t wait for our eyes to meet for the first time and i can’t wait for the first fantastic conversation we will have.

but until then, i hope you know that i have loved you even before i met you.