Growing into “everything”


I’ve been wanting to write about the recent events in my life but never got around to doing it. I just never seem to find an appropriate place to sit down and think of what has been happening in my life. I also haven’t had the inspiration to just sit down and weed out the thoughts one by one.

I was also too busy relishing the thoughts of new questions and answers forming in my head.

One cliche says: “Everything happens for a reason”. It’s the most commonly used and abused. And I believed in it with every fiber of my being. There’s a cosmic and spiritual reason somewhere.

I believed in it but that doesn’t mean that I knew what it meant.

When you’re 15 years old and wide eyed about life, you always think that “everything” encompasses failed quizzes, missed tv shows, unrequited love and being out of place in a cliche that you’ve always wanted to be part of (so sweet valley jr high).

For me, those were all the issues of life and nothing more.

Four years later, life showed me the real meaning of everything.

A good friend of mine who complains as much as I do about life advised me that giving up is never the answer to everything. That was my main theory in life. She debunked my 18 years of belief in three short text messages.

Being an adult doesn’t entitle us to run away which was how i’ve been approaching my life. Running away from “everything” is simply not a possibility anymore.

Facing the realities of everything to me was by curling up in a couch, eating sunflower’s strawberry crackers and watching Grey’s Anatomy and Others in a ratty pair of boxer shorts that I got five years ago. For me figuring out Meredith’s life is way better than facing my own dilemmas.
But the summer and my days in solitude and seclusion has allowed me to get up from my comfortable couch and let go of the feeling of fear.
Ironically, I realize that it’s more comforting to go out everyday and enjoy the sun rather than hide hide and hide even more.
At the end of the day, it’s more fulfilling.
I have no idea if I am growing up in a weird sense or it’s just the birthday fever kicking in. Either way, life’s good.
And from what I heard from the twentysomethings it only gets better.