There’s something awkward about meeting someone new. That’s a given.
But really, why go through all that torture?
Okay, so you meet someone right?
You say your hellos, your “hi-s” and once all the bases have been covered (where do you work? where do you live? where do you? what do you?) it just ends with an awkward silence and then after appropriate time together spent staring at your beer bottle and peeling off the sticker, you’re done and the torture begins.
You know the torture on the way home pretty much sucks because the events of the night play in your head and you’re wondering, damn, this guy should have gotten my number or I shouldn’t have said this, did my thighs look fat.
Oh, the freakin’ agony, plus the fact that I wasn’t schooled in flirting and I feel myself horrendously pretentious when I even try.
So today, I just really want to say that I don’t want it anymore and last night I simply stopped trying, instead I became myself and since i wasn’t trying, I wasn’t disappointed when things didn’t turn out the way i wanted them to.
Yes, i’m not that girl that intentionally flirts to get what I want or the commercial model that turns heads but i’m me and i’m pretty good with it.
There’s a lot to say about a girl who doesn’t have any insecurites, after being bothered by them for years.
It feels nice to go home with a smile on my face because finally I wasn’t trying to be anyone but my irrationally geeky self.