Joey: [Sighs] Hi, it’s me. So, I thought that I would have an answer when I picked up the phone, but I didn’t. And then I thought I would think of something as I was talking, but–heh– no such luck. Um… Pace… I think the problem is trying to figure this out alone. I–I think that maybe we should… do it together, you know? And… you know how they say if you could do it all over again, what would you change? Well… I’d probably change a lot of things… but I’m also really lucky that I have the chance. And… I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not gonna look at you and think of everything that happened. I’m… I’m gonna look at you and think of everything that could. Call me. Bye.

When you fully commit yourself to a cause, a person or a situation you’re also committing yourself to the possibility that the cause, the person or the situation may not turn out the way you expected it to be at the beginning.

I guess at the back of everyone’s mind’s, you know that somewhere along the way something might happen and the cause, the person or the situation that’s supposed to make your life easier, worthwhile and happier ends up to be a ridiculous heartbreak—one that’s hard to get over and one that will turn you inside and out before it allows you to be happy again. Those heartbreaks that can define you and one critical season in your life, that specific season separate you from the dreamer that you used to be and the realist that you have become.

It reminds you of how you used to be and how you are now. In a way, it makes you smile to look back because you’ve grown so much. You’ve accepted that you can’t make people change, but you can make an effort to accept them for who they are.

You begin to understand that every realized dream is not what you expected it to be and sometimes, it’s better to just pine instead of receiving the same dream.

It also makes you realize that life has a lot of options and not everyone is transparent as you are or is everything inked in black and white. People view situations differently and not everyone responds the same way you do in certain situations.

Just like the quote I included in this entry: “And… I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not gonna look at you and think of everything that happened. I’m… I’m gonna look at you and think of everything that could be.”

To conclude, I guess impending heartbreaks are not meant to be feared. I guess, in a silly, distorted way, one should welcome it because as I keep on yammering about, you took the risk baby and that’s all that matters.