If our silence was a conversation


(Translation: If “Danny” and I got over ourselves for one minute and actually sat down to have a decent conversation; this is what I would tell him and what I dream the conversation would be)

“Why do we do this?”

“Do what?”

“Hide beneath the preface that we are okay”

“We are okay, we’re friends”


“We’re not friends because if we are friends, we would place such a huge effort on pushing each other away and finding a reason to not like each other. No, we’re not friends”

*ponders a minute*

“Why do we do that? Because for two people who don’t seem to care beyond normal friends or acquaintances do, we’re easily affected by each other’s actions”

*Silence again*

“I think it means only one thing”

“This whole charade is not working because if it’s working then we wouldn’t even have this conversation. We’d just be together, no questions asked”

“You, of all people should know that this is not like any normal situation you see on TV”

“But still. If it’s meant to happen, we wouldn’t hurt each other all the time. We wouldn’t play all these childish games, we’d just be

*Silence. A very heavy silence*

“So, what could this mean?”

“It means we leave this be and move on. Something I should have done months ago”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“So, it’s the end?”
*I smile for the first time since I started the conversation in my head*

“Well, not really maybe, after this conversation, we’d finally be just friends. This is something that we’ve wanted at the beginning, before this whole mess started-to be just friends”

I walk away in my head and I’m back to veracity and although the conversation never materialized, I’m smiling in reality as well because, well, the conversation somehow makes the situation more comprehensible. Something easier to grasp, so I guess in a twisted way, I was able to deal with it.