Light in between the cracks


a lot of people, particularly the media, often say that our best moments are the ones shaped by achievement, winning the crown, getting the guy, finishing first etc etc.

i’ve never read a story or watched a movie that tells us otherwise.

because of this, i’ve grown up knowing that greatest moments would define my life and so I waited.

i waited for high school because I’ve been told that highschool is the best time of anyone’s life.

then, i waited for college because high school was overrated anyway, but college turned out to be one race, everyone struggling to get on top.

then someone told me that once i started working, my life would truly begin. most of my friends’ advice focused on getting out of the house where freedom truly began. others would say it’s when i meet the love of my life or when i get my first pay check or when i have savings in the bank.

i guess most of the stories i’ve read, the people i’ve talked to and the movies i’ve watched has its own way of blowing things out of proportion.

because you know i’ve been through several moments where my ‘real life’ should have began, where i should have already been ‘self-actualized’ and yet, i still feel like a seven year old, writing my feelings on a pocahontas journal.

i still feel like i’m waiting for my life to start somehow and every time I feel that it’s on the verge of beginning, that’s when everything falls apart again.

and just like the child i used to be, i responded with anger, feeling cheated out of life simply because it has not been filled with many moments like those i see in the movies or read in the books.

somehow, just like every grown up has promised, i felt like life was nothing but a great time spent in the waiting area — watching others have their turn while desperately waiting for mine.

however, today, i’ve come to realize that life isn’t about that at all. life isn’t about the grand moments, the grand moments which admittedly are far and few in between.

life is what happens everyday. life is what happens in between waking up and falling asleep. life is about the moments we spend eating, studying, working and dreaming we were anywhere but where we are.

i’d like to think that i was born a daydreamer and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, however, because of this trait, i’ve always assumed that i’d only be happen when.

That when robs us of this moment. Because of our anxiety we miss out on the good things life has to offer.

And yes, life isn’t perfect, but that doesn’t mean that life isn’t good.

I’ve been feeling stuck in a rut, in an emotional roller coaster since 2011 began simply because the life i’ve always envisioned hasn’t happened yet.

What I didn’t realize is that in between wishing to get there and actually getting there, there is a huge space in between that is filled with little challenges that would prepare us for the good and perfect gift that God has planned for us in the beginning.

That the challenges in between don’t threaten what God has freely given us, but instead, these little challenges prepare us for what’s instore.

We may never understand why or how or when but what’s important is for us to appreciate life for what it is, to appreciate the situations we don’t ask for, flip the coin and see it as something beautiful.

That even though there’s darkness everywhere we look– there’s also a lot of light in between the cracks. That there’s always a silver lining in whatever cloud that may be raining on our parade.

That God never wastes a tear, or an opportunity. That although the enemy intended for a specific situation to ruin us, God will turn it around for our good– and this good means that we become better people despite the pain that the circumstances beyond our control has given us.

And when the storm is finished we can still praise God because despite it’s attempt to ruin us, it only made us stronger.

These are cliches we try to avoid but when the going gets tough, we understand the true depth behind the repeated lines.

So even though my life may not be at its best, I dare say that God is good because I know that when going through the worst, I’m not at it on my own, instead God is with me, making sure that I become the person He wants me to be, carrying me until i finally make it to that beautiful and glorious moment of victory.