love & other …


Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Every time February 14 rolls around, people always sigh (single people most especially) because it’s that time of the year where if you’re single, you’re being reminded of your status, as if it’s some plague that people would never want to be associated with. If they’re in a relationship, they sigh because they must be ready with a magnificent surprise or else.

Whichever side of the spectrum you’re on, i’d like to tell you that maybe the whole idea of Valentine’s day isn’t just for that significant other.
In the past year, my perspective of love has broadened and it has become more than just a significant other.
From the time i wrote my definitely, maybe article i have encountered different facets of love.
And for the first time in my life, it has been more than just that significant other.
This year, I’ve come to realize that love has a lot do with forgiveness.

And when i say forgiveness, i don’t mean forgiving someone who has hurt you in the past like in a huge major way, although forgiveness in that sense is a wonderful expression of love as well.
Hang on, getting ahead of myself.
Less than forgiveness there are daily things we encounter with the people in our lives.
Being the idealist that I am and maybe, i can be guarded around people as well, i have little rules for people.
These rules are meant to keep people away. These rules are meant to test.
Because i’ve been hurt so many times before, putting up a million ways was the only way to keep people away.
But today, of all days, i’ve come to realize that loving people doesn’t mean having a check list do’s, dont’s and how-tos, instead, love is accepting people for who they are and not what they do.
At the beginning it was such a foreign concept because since pre-school the only way one got a gold star was if they performed well.
I always equated love and friendship with performance. How nice someone was to me, how frequent they texted etc etc.
Love was never what I could bring, but what could be brought to me.
I was so wrong. I was deluded.

The only way I could love other people was to love them the way Jesus loves us, loves me.

To begin with, to be loved just because I am me is beyond me.
Second, to be loved despite of all my many mistakes, imperfections, the things I did, the things I didn’t do is amazing.
And last, for my slate to be clean every morning, meaning that every morning i’m given a chance to start again, to correct what wrong i did yesterday just floors me.
To know that i am loved because of who God is and not because of who I am takes off the pressure that the world has put on me in the 22 years that i’ve been living in it just makes me realize that my list has been stupid, selfish and born out of ignorance.
As long as we are in the world, we can not find the perfect love that most of us demand for deep inside.
I used to demand it too– from my parents, best friends, perfect men with accents and the list goes on…
I used to think that Romeo would love the me the way the King of the Universe does, but now that the blinders are off, I have come to realize that that kind of love that i’ve been searching for for the longest time isn’t meant to be filled by a person but by Him who placed that desire in me.
and because of that love that has been freely given to me, i am now free to be forgiving of others as well.
how can i demand for perfection from the people around me when in fact God, who has all the right to demand doesn’t want any of my perfection.
in fact He wants me to come as i am, no matter how unstable and messy i am and simply offer everything to Him. In fact, He doesn’t even want me to do all the work, He wants me to leave that up to Him.
I am so overwhelmed by this love that has been given to me since day one.
Oh how many days i wasted blaming people, demanding from people when i could have been filled by His love and in turn love people instead of expecting so much.
God is good.
He took off the blinders and now I’m truly free to love other people.
And because of God’s goodness, I can truly enjoy a holiday I used to detest.
Enjoy God’s gift of love today, tomorrow, everyday and may you “bear all things” when it comes to loving His other children as well! 🙂