Okay? Okay.


I just ended my night with The Fault in Our Stars and while the book impacted me, it’s safe to say that the movie basically ruined me. With tears still fresh in my eyes, I can’t help but be grateful for what is in my life, and also grateful for what isn’t.

Right before immersing myself in the land of Gus and Hazel Grace, I was thinking of writing a blog entry about life’s what ifs. You know, the could have beens, the might have beens, and there sure are a lot of them. They can range from becoming as small as turning right instead of left or as life-changing as praying for someone, asking for a sign, and getting it.
And while I used to be big on thinking of those what ifs, today, while in the loo, I have come to realise that I wouldn’t trade where I am today and the journey that got me to where I am for any “what if” scenarios in my head. The journey, just like everything else in life, wasn’t in any way, easy, but today I look back at it fondly simply because it brought me to where I am today.
And as I look at my life, with both its beautiful and missing parts, and I find myself thankful, I find myself complete. I find myself anchored to the One who will never leave me, and I find myself excited for what’s to come. But for now, I simply bask in the moment of being loved (as Gus said, it’s not about being loved widely, but deeply) and at the same time, also bask in the God given wisdom to enjoy today for what it is, and not for what I long for it to be.
Those days will come but for tonight, I will just be.