I initially started this blog entry this morning but discontinued it because a) I was too mad to think things through and b) I didn’t think it was worthy to be written about.
Well, before I begin, let me just say that I don’t like confrontations. As much as possible, I let another person talk while I nod my head, not in agreement but to keep the peace. Also, as much as I can, I don’t confront people about things — something I am still working on because I believe that arguments are healthy as long as they are done in a peaceful manner. Without saying much about the parties involved, I got into an argument with someone over something that was deeply personal to me – my family. You see, you can fool me all you want but once done against my family, my inner Katy Perry comes out.
Safe to say that it wasn’t pretty and I often let negative comments slides, especially since I believe that none of those comments matter that much, but this person decided to attack me on my faith. Without it being necessary, the person gave me the “aren’t you a churchgoer?” shade (yes, thanks BuzzFeed, I now know what that means) and of all insults, that one hurts the most.
As if me serving Jesus and lifting up His name has anything to do with my behaviour. While I am not proud that I allowed the person to get the best of me, I don’t regret standing up for someone that I love. What irked me was that that person had to bring the “faith” issue into light. It irked me because how many times has society done that? People go to church to seek healing and go to Jesus to heal from what the world has done completely.
Talking about faith, the love of Jesus, how it has transformed us, and how beautiful collective worship has nothing to do with me or my behaviour. In fact, the reason why I run to Jesus for my daily dose of grace is because everyday I am well aware of my own shortcomings and well aware that without Him, I will revert back to my insecure ways. That while I know Jesus doesn’t approve of me hurting another person, in Him, I am constantly being a better version of who I was.
Looking back at the situation hours later, I admit that there are things that I could have done better, but I know that what I have done this morning did not lessen God’s love for me. You see, nothing I have done have caused Jesus to save me, so nothing that I am going to do will take away what He gave me out of love and as a gift.
If everyone who went to Jesus were perfect, there will be nobody left to save. Jesus came simply because we can’t on our own — that is the truth. That no matter how much I try to be good, how much I try to be kind, I will never ever measure up to the perfect God.
This is why I need a Savior and this is why I humbly say that despite my love for Jesus, I am still human and I still make mistakes. I will never stop making mistakes just because I go to church, in fact I go to church, read my Bible, and listen to Judah Smith and other preachers in order to at least make less of them.
The whole “you’re a Christian” defense during arguments is the most painful one can throw at another simply because for most of us Jesus is the only way for us to change, it also shows that one doesn’t understand the fullness of what God has done. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t be saved, but thank God because He sent Jesus.
I think the time of bashing people simply because of what they believe must stop. We’re all equals, we have all done things that are uncalled for, and for most of us, we have repented for them. To simply put, no matter where we are on the sinner level, we’re all the same – sinners saved by grace.
As I write this, it would be easy to continue to get mad at the person, especially after all she has done. But what would be the point? Jesus doesn’t hold me to a standard of perfection, so why must I hold human beings into ridiculously impossible standards? I have erred in trying to make a point when I should have just let it go, I have asked for forgiveness and ready to move on only with the lessons.
So I don’t understand truly the point of this blog entry, but the next time you fight with someone or argue with someone, leave Jesus out of it, because sometimes, for that person Jesus is the only reason to move forward with hope. 🙂
“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9