I have been on vacation for about a week now, and my set of books, basketball games (a girl can hardly keep up really), Sex & The City, and Gilmore Girls have replaced newspapers and my work computer.
The holiday season, though it has been really hot, has been true to its word. I have been sleeping in, and spending time with the people closest to my heart. So far, it has been a time of catching up with my nearest and dearest.
And in as much as I would love to talk about the latest NBA games or the latest Grey’s Anatomy episode, most of my friends have been talking about the eternal “everyone’s getting married/ having a baby/ getting engaged”.
Holidays have been trickled with these conversations probably because it’s the only time it seems appropriate to talk about it. It’s like suddenly everyone on my news feed planet is getting engaged, getting married, and just getting, period. It has gotten most of my friends worried about their single status, and I’m just here being like this girl:
|Photo Cred: www.buzzfeed.com
But for the sake of the season, I indulged in talk appropriate for girls (Warriors winning over Clippers seemed to be more appropriate but I found out that’s just me!) and I was bothered about this one word “hook”.
The only hook that I know of is Peter Pan’s number one nemesis who is gorgeous on Once Upon a Time, but apparently they had other “hooks” in mind. Apparently, in the dating world these days you have to “hook” a guy in order to be his one and only.
Call me old fashioned or too much of a Ginnifer Goodwin from He’s Just Not That Into You, but I still believe that even though we live in the land of iMessaging, Whats App, Viber, Instagram, and Snapchat, the art of pursuit is still not a word dropped from the dictionary. I know some guys are probably rolling their eyes saying it’s the 21st Century and girls should move to get somewhere, but really, guys were made to hunt, compete, and win.
It has never been the girl’s responsibility to keep a man interested as beautifully written here. I have been blessed with a father who has constantly reminded me that if a guy wants me, he would, by all means, go after me. He has always reminded me to not waste my time on guys who can’t even lift a finger to call or say hi.
My heavenly Father has blessed me with a great earthly father, and I wish that you (this beautiful girl reading this) would know your worth too. You are worth being pursued, stop believing the dumb lie that you’re not worthy, you are.
My older sister’s love story is a testament to this. If a guy wants you, he wants you, no excuses, no nothing. My brother in law’s pursuit of my sister is an endearing story, and one I would share with you once I get her permission to do so ( ha ha ha).
This is the reason why this whole “hook” thing and dressing up for a guy to notice you (really, do all of you ladies really love those Js or are you trying to impress your latest baller find? Just a question, no need to answer it). You don’t have to spend hours waiting for him to notice you because heads up, he noticed you already and he would have approached you if he wanted to.
There’s no reason for this whole none sense about “hooking” a guy into liking you. Guys are not dogs, they’re smart creatures who go after the things they want. It may be a harsh reality but it will save you a lot of time.
And while I don’t have a beautiful love story to share, I do have one thing I’m proud of: I am not wasting my time. I am not wasting my time waiting around the phone, my social media accounts, or what have you. I don’t spend my time over analyzing or thinking if he wants me or not, by knowing it head on, you have the power.
Also, enough of this bs where you have to be a certain kind of girl to be liked / loved / pursued. All of the great love stories I have heard all root from one thing: being loved for you. Being adored for who you are, and not feeling like he’s just with you because no one better has come along yet. You deserve that much.
I will end this entry with a short quote from the article linked above:
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul — in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego — that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
And while the wait may take forever, trust me when I say, it will be worth the wait. Don’t settle.