It has been ten years since I became a high school senior.
I recall being a pudgy almost sixteen year old with her head constantly in the clouds, and when I say constantly, I mean constantly. I recall spending my Trig classes daydreaming about everything and anything.
I’ve always thought it was a cliché when older people would say that the time between then and now passed by in a blur, but now I know that it’s true. It’s as if I have been yanked out of my high school stupor and brought into this world where I am an adult with real life responsibilities. As I was going through old files from my first years as a working girl (spent writing stories, with my head in the clouds as usual), it made me question the things I believe in now as compared to the things I used to believe in.
In a true Peter Pan act, I suddenly compared what who I used to be with who I am now and wonder if I have changed for the better. I could never objectively answer that but I’d like to think that my faith in people, no matter how many times I’ve been hurt / betrayed, has stood the test of time. It’s also easy to say that I am more forgiving of others, I’ve always placed certain people on a pedestal – incapable of mistakes or wrongdoing without realizing that they, just like me, are simply trying to do the best they can with the lives and circumstances they’ve been given. In the words of Judah Smith, it’s all about loving them especially when I don’t feel like it or when they don’t give me a reason to. It’s not easy, but by God’s grace – I’m getting there. (Can’t say that much about bad calls made during games – but that’s an entirely different blog entry.)
In some way, I have become more passive, although still driven by a strong sense of wanting to change the world. I guess what has changed from a few years ago is that I have (stubbornly so) accepted that things take time, and in order to make certain dreams come true, I have to hold in the reins and let time do what its supposed to. I am no longer the eager 20 something straight out college desperately wanting the corner office. Now I understand that it’s not just about getting the job 100% right all the time, I’ve been more forgiving of my own mistakes and spend less time agonizing over them. Again, such a cliché but my mistakes don’t define me, it’s how I bounce back and learn from them that would.
What a journey it has been so far and a great part of it has been documented on this blog of mine, and for the first time on Sunday, I move away from the world wide web and into a real, living, breathing paper!!!! After being a contributor for four years, I am now a columnist for The Manila Times! Beginning Sunday, my yup tastic adventures will be out on Wanderlust (hipster lang!). Let me just say, God really is in the business of making dreams come true!
And while some things may have changed in the past year, I’m proud to say that my optimism hasn’t tarnished one bit — so I’m ending this the way that I always have — looking forward to the great days ahead.