This is a blog post I never in a million years thought I would ever write but since God is a God of surprises, here I am writing it. (Panalo ka talaga, Lord!)
But before I dig deep into the now, it’s important to backtrack a bit.
The story I am about to share started really on the day of my 27th birthday. In a nutshell, my 27th birthday was the worst I have experienced. It was the beginning of a season of transition in my life and it all began on that day. A month after turning 27, my dad took me and the entire family to a much needed vacation to LA that impacted my life in a way I have never expected.
It’s safe to say that being in the States after being brokenhearted felt like a season of wilderness. The good girl who did everything right was trying to “spread” her wings a little bit more by exploring new things. For the first time in my life, I was distant with God and even asked Him for a break. It was as if I was going through my own season of rumspringa minus the partying and the excessive drinking. Left frustrated yet again, I felt like waiting on God wasn’t really the best thing for me to do so I took matters to my own hands.
But it’s safe to say that God is faithful. The night after I asked God to take over and take me away from choices that were not pleasing to Him, He sent someone who reminded me that waiting on God was still the best option.
I guess the first lesson of this Valentine’s Day is the fact that even if we stray away from God and not make the best choices, He can still make all things work together for good (Romans 8:28). That season of my life also reminded me that God’s love, blessings, and approval were not based on anything I did but all He has done through Jesus. For the first time in my life, I made choices that weren’t the best and yet God was faithful enough to love me, invite me back to His life, and gift me with something I have been praying for for a long time.
The second lesson I have learned is that timing truly is the Father’s business. I’ve heard it over and over again that God’s timing is quite different from ours but I haven’t quite felt its impact until after coming back to Manila. What God has gifted me with in the States was temporarily handed back to Him and during that season, my faith was tested in a way I wasn’t expecting either.
It turns out that the heartbreak I experienced on my 27th birthday was just the beginning of a season of pruning. In the months following my return to Manila, I lost friends who have been with me for over three years, failed at a job I thought I was doing well at, and let go of what I thought was God’s best for me.
Looking back, I am now grateful for that season of loneliness but of course as I was going through it, I was constantly looking for God’s hand in it. I was constantly questioning His presence in my life and most of my days and nights were spent crying out to Him.
But it was all for a purpose. As I spent that season isolated with God, I have discovered parts of myself that were not yet fully surrendered to Him. In the season of intense heartbreak, everything I was depending my identity to faded away and I was left with nothing before God. And that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be and as I lay down every desire on His feet, that was when God moved miraculously even returning what I initially surrendered to Him.
So that being said, I share with you the most kilig Valentine’s Day ever because a) God has given me the boyfriend I have prayed for since I was a child and b) Anthony (yes, the boyfriend has a name) has gifted me with the best Valentine’s Day ever — which is really loving me in all my weirdness and quirks. But our love story will be detailed in the days to come. But today, I am just grateful because God does answer prayers in His time.
It’s really just a testament of how good God is and how when we truly trust and surrender to Him, everything will just fall into place.
Happy Valentine’s Day! If God can do it for me, He can definitely do it for you too! 🙂
