What Happens at Fifty?


I have this weird habit of going through archives of magazines. I don’t know why, I guess it’s kindda funny to have these drawn out articles about certain people who aren’t even talking anymore.

Like old Britney and Justin articles. Or articles about Lance Bass dating random girls, that’s kindda hilarious–admit it.

But going through articles like these made me realize one thing and I’m not sure if I should be happy or sad about it: It made me realize that I would be old one day and probably these blog entries won’t even make sense or create much impact to me anymore.

It’s kindda sad that soon enough my blog entries would simply be archives of my past life and I wonder if I would have any similarity to the girl who’d be reading this five years from now.

I was talking to an old friend last night and I was taken aback by his comment: “You’re a lot nicer now, you know?”

I didn’t have a comeback for that because I always thought that I was nicer two years ago when our friendship started and not the other way around. I honestly thought that I was kindda bitchier now, you know? Like I developed a stronger sense of self.

That’s when I realized that that may be the reason why I was nicer. It was because I was finally secure with who I am.

Of course, I’m no saint and still insecure most of the time but not as bad as it used to be, my insecurities no longer get the best of me.

And in one way or another, I explained that to him and he sort of understood.

But back to the topic, I don’t know why I keep jumping from one topic to another.

So, I don’t know if I’d still be the same person or if I’d actually still be using this blog (I hope to be consistent, my journal has long gone).

Isn’t life IRONIC?