I’ve been at a loss to explain why I react to certain things, people and situations the way that I do and I’ve been reading Captivating this weekend and found that maybe I’m not the only woman experiencing this, so if you have been trying to understand me, here it goes:
“Fallen Eve controls her relationships. She refuses to be vulnerable. And if she cannot secure her relationships, the she kills her heart’s longing for intimacy so that she will be safe and in control. She becomes a woman “who doesn’t need anyone-especially a man”. How this plays out over the course of her life, and how the wounds of her childhood shape her heart’s conviction are often a complex story, one worth knowing.
But beneath it all, behind it all is a simple truth: women dominate and control because they fear vulnerability. Far from God and far from Eden, it seems like the perfectly reasonable way to live.
That self-protective way of relating to others has nothing to do with real loving and nothing to do with deeply trusting God. It is our gut-level response to a dangerous world”
“We hide behind the makeup. We hide behind our humor. We hide with angry silences and punishing withdrawals. We hide ourselves and offer only what we believe is wanted, what is safe. We act in self-protective ways and refuse to offer what we truly see, believe and know. We will not risk rejection or looking like a fool. We hide because we are afraid. We have been wounded and wounded deeply. To hide means to remain safe.
We don’t return to God with our broken and desperate hearts. And it has never occurred to us that in all our hiding, something precious is lost.”
“We don’t feel worthy of pursuit. So we hang a “do not disturb” sign on our personalities, send a “back off” message to the world. We try so hard and in so many ways, to protect our hearts from further pain.”