“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” –Rumi

So in true Carla fashion, I ranted about Wednesday’s events to my good guy friends because I felt that they had the answer to all my troubles (usually, they don’t since they tell me things that I’d rather not hear about, that’s the problem they argue with me instead of simply agreeing which is really what they’re supposed to do).

So with all the hooplah balu happening around me I have finally come to the point where I think I learned my lesson.

And there are lessons to learn here.

I think that’s the first step, realizing that something has to be learned.

I don’t think I’ll allow this heart-wrenching, gut-turning experience that left me feeling like a zombie for two weeks be put to waste so I have to at least learn something from it.

So what did I learn?

1) Once emotions or feelings are involved in the mix, there’s no turning back and this should not be taken lightly. Even if it seems like the other person doesn’t care, they always do. So playing with their feelings just because it seems like a lot of fun is a no-no. Also, playing challenging mind games must be halted when you pass your 21st birthday just because it gets trickier. I have come to realize that I’m old enough to stop playing games.

2) There’s really no justification for hurting someone’s feelings. You can’t say that you didn’t mean to hurt them because it was just a game to you; it’s time to grow up, act like an adult and own up to your mistakes. You don’t say or do things because you’re bored and you think it must be fun to win over a guy who never goes crazy over anyone (I have a very Freddie Prinze Jr. in She’s All That syndrome/complex).

3) That my life is pretty good and that there’s nothing about it that I would complain about, I’m just really melodramatic and I feel that it’s an addition to my charm (I know it’s not!). I think it’s time for me to drop the act simply because not everything has to have drama for it to be worth it. I know everybody’s saying that it has to be difficult, but there are some things in life that should come easily. Here I am being philosophical again so moving on to the next topic.

4) That all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. So no matter how shitty or crummy or horrendous certain situations get, it’s okay because the Lord is with me and no matter what happens, He knows what He’s doing and there’s truly nothing to lose once we place our complete trust in him. Yes, it does hurt and it really can cause one to go mentally insane and unstable for awhile, but it does have a purpose, if only to teach you humility which is really all you need in order for the Lord to move in your life.

5) And it’s true, “sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together” You were the good part; I can’t wait for the “better part” to fall into place soon.

I plan to have a drama free and stress free weekend with good friends, my handy camera and good books (two books lined up this weekend!) and who could forget, my self-imposed review sessions. Remember, being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely, this I’m also reminding myself this weekend.