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Back in high school people always knew me as the girl who always had a crush. Don’t take this the wrong way. I’ve always had crushes on fake guys, meaning guys who exsist on TV. Hehe. So there.
But the girl they saw last saturday was a different person. Totally different.

Jen: “Bia, how are the boys in your school?”
Me: *shrug* “They’re okay”
Jen: *grinning* “And?”
Me: “Well, there are a lot of good looking guys but they all drink and smoke. I have nothing against smokers or drinkers but its not something I grew up accustomed to. I don’t want to give up my values, not to mention my parents’ trust over something that wouldn’t last…”

By this time Jen looks at me with a weird look on her face.

I knew what she was thinking. She’s my mamuch after all. I know she was thinking that I, in my own way have matured.

So, I don’t care if people at my college label me as that girl with a purity ring.

For the first time ever . . .

I am proud to be labeled

*wink*

And I
Ciara
[verse 1]
I dont need me a basketball player
All i need is somebody thats down for me
And he dont have to have money
His love is just like honey
Its so sweet to me
He had everything in this world
But he sacraficied it all for me
And i made up my mind
Im in love this time
And it feels so real
[chorus]
And i
Know that he wont break my heart
And i
Know that we wont ever part
Its time, time for us to settle down
And i
Wanna be with him forever

[verse 2]
That cant say that i am crazy
For makin him mah baby
Bought his flowers for me
See i done been through many changes
But this one i aint changing
This one’s staying the same
I can have everything in this world
But i’ll sacrafice it all for him
And i made up my mind
Im in love this time
And it feels so rea
l[chorus]
[bridge]
I love you
And all of the things that you do
Oh baby please
I need you (i need you)
So believe me (I do)
I do
(oOoOOo)

But here I am still waiting . . .

Gemini
Spongecola
Come a little closer
Flicker in flight
We’ll have about an inch s space
But im here i can breath in
What you breathe out
Let me know if im doing this right
Let me know if my grips too tight
Let me know if i can stay all of my life
Let me know if dreams can come true
Let me know if this ones for you
Cause i see it
And i feel it
Right here
And i feel you right here
The vacuous night
Steps aside to give meaning
To gemini’s dreaming
The moon on it’s back
And the seemingly
Veiled room’s lit
By the same star
And i feel it right here
And i feel you right here

We were in our principles of marketing class when rayan passed us this yellow pad filled with doodles. And they weren’t just doodles, there were drawings and the doodles made sense. I stole some of them hahaha…(if its not by rayan, its probably by pepe so go on read.)

“Who I am you will never understand until you understand who you are. You shall always see me through your mask and you shall never appreciate the perfection I see in you”

“If its in that one moment that our story ends, ill cherish that moment and pass it off as perfect” (btw, that’s what i “doodled” hehehe)

“A dream captivates through perfection that appeals to ideal. Hence, we always wake up. We were never meant to be perfect. Just alive.”

Rayan once said that its called “love” not “stupidity”. Well, this entry may sound a bit stupid but what the heck, its my blog. Haha.
I’ve been hurt by that person before. More times than one. Most people say that I deserve more and I know I do.
But then again, most of the time what I say contradicts how I feel. And since I’m so big on being honest, that’s just what I am going to do.
People change and when I say that I don’t mean that people change for the worse. Some people change for the better and I’m willing to give that person the benefit of the doubt, that yes he has changed already and matured. I guess college has a way of doing that to people.
I have learned to let go of the hurt and the pain. Looking back would do me no good. People change, I should know that.
And maybe this time… change can be a good thing.

Last night was Ms. Fashionista Asian’s debut and me and my wonderful batchmates were once again reunited and do you want to know how it felt?
It felt wonderful.
It felt wonderful to be back together. All the corny jokes and antics were revived and brought back together. The people who called me Bianca were all at one place and it felt great.
We all had the same feelings about college. We were all having fun but we missed the jokes we shared. The jokes that only we could understand.
The almost five hours I spent with my high school “posse” made up for all the loneliness I feel in college. I had so much fun. Laughing was as normal as breathing. We cracked over the same things without even a single word.
It was like being back in high school but so much better. My friends all looked wonderful, matured. Haha. Matured. The girls were simply beautiful and the guys so handsome.
I felt like my old self, not that i don’t like my new “improved” self, I do but it doesn’t mean that getting nostalgic once in awile.
Being with them is something I couldn’t explain. All I know is that i’m happy. Really happy that I was with them.
I wish I could explain how im feeling more and how wonderful it was. but I agree with someone who said that sometimes words just get in the way.

Pictures are coming soon. As soon as I transffer them to a cd. 😉

mwah mwah mwah 🙂

Kae and I were hanging out in our latest favorite hang out, the stairs (hehe) when we caught up with Rayan. It was during our Campaign Planning class break and I forgot how we started the conversation but it led to a new philospohy. Rayan said that why do people often ask “why?” when they should be asking “why not?”
Rayan’s optimisim is very contagious. So kae and I have a new thing now, instead of asking “why?” we are now asking “why not?”…
Refreshing, don’t you think?

HERE BY ME
3 DOORS DOWN

I hope you’re doing fine out without me
‘Cause I’m not doing so good without you
The things I thought you’d never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years?
Guess I only see the truth through all this fear,
And living without you…
And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.
I can’t take another day without you
‘Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I’ve been waiting so long, just to hold you
And be back in your arms where I belong
Sorry I can’t always find the words to say
But everything I’ve ever know gets swept away