I’m on my way home from my second to the last day in Tagaytay and i’m so overwhelmed that I have to write everything I’m feeling to somehow justify my emotions.
I feel incredible in a way that nothing ever has. I feel alive and for the first time in my life, I’m at a loss to describe how I’m feeling. Tears are welling up in my eyes because I feel that for the first time in my life, I fell in love with these eight kids without being told to do so.
Before this three week experience, I always thought that the romantic kind of love is what you need to change you and your perspective but truly all you need is real, authentic love from people who was never obliged to love you in the first place.
To be able to give out that kind of love is amazing. It’s something you didn’t know that you had in you in the first place. I thought that I only had enough love to give to one person. I think I’ve crossed the line from being a wreckless, selfish teenager to being a responsible adult.
For the first time in my life, I am patient and kind not because I have to but I do it out of love just like how Paul described it in Corinthians.
When you’re in a romantic relationship, you reply solely on your apperance because at the back of your mind, you always think he loved you just because you’re beautiful, rich or what other adjective applies to you and your life.
But when you’re loved unconditionally, being told that you’re beautiful is not based on how much you weigh or on your new Louis Vuitton. Your told that you’re beautiful because you radiate joy, peace and kindness.
At the beginning of 2008, I prayed for a love that will change my life and at the back of my mind, I’ve always thought it would be a love from a Prince Charming (so far, all I’ve ever met are frogs) but that wasn’t the love that the Lord blessed me with this year. He blessed me with an empowering kind that will truly change you from the inside out.
I pray that all throughout 2009 and my lifetime, I’ll remember what his feels like. How genuine and how authentic this kind of love feels like.
Eventhough my heart will break when my eight angels leave, it won’t be teh kind of heartbreak that will leave you gutted and ruined. It will be the bittersweet kind, the one that inspires and one that will leave you changed forever (no more bitchy moments compadre!). This love makes me move forward in faith, it makes me believe for the great plans that the Lord has instore for me and everyone I love this coming year.
Life is truly filled with little miracles: the Lord brought me eight angels this Christmas. If that isn’t a miracle, then I don’t know what is.
CHEERS TO A GREAT 2009!!