I visited my doctor today and visited my niece.

You know, God is good all the time. That’s really all that I can say.

It’s trulty the beginning of great things!

I was diagnosed with hyperthyrodism in 2006 and up to this day, I have no idea what caused it.

Probably due to all the tuna I ate because I was trying to be a skeleton plus the pressure of trying to be ala Reese Witherspoon on Legally Blonde.

Basically, I was trying to be someone I wasn’t cut out to be and it led me to an eating disorder and hyperthyrodism.

Hyperthyrodism basically elevates your heart rate and makes you feel like you’ve been working out for two hours instead of five minutes. It causes unnecessary stress and makes you react to all things because you’re on this emotional haywire.

Basically, it’s like you’re on crack most of the time. Or ecstacy. Or whatever it is kids get high on.

I got my results back today and i’m good!

After four years!

WOW don’t we serve an amazing God?!

Of course we do!

So if I were you, stay away from too much canned tuna!

I think I got that from rereading A Purpose Driven Life over and over again since sophomore year in high school.

But in truth, really, what on earth am I here for?

I see people on TV and see how they bask in fame and in money and I think to myself, what was my purpose here on earth?

I look inside of me and see all the things that I don’t have, the things that I would like to have and suddenly, I feel empty.

Every book I’ve read said that once I chase after the things I want, the career that’s most satisifying and find the love of my life, I would be okay.

I don’t understand it, if that’s all that there is to life, why am I unhappy?

Why do I lay awake at night, wondering if this is really all that there is to life?

Then I’d realize that maybe, in order to truly take life in, I have to step away from myself and stop comparing myself to other people.

I know that He has greater plans for me than I could ever have for myself and on most days, it’s difficult to take in because I want what the world has, I want beauty, I want fame, I want power.

But at the end of the day, the ones that truly make our lives rich isn’t what we receive instead it’s what we give out.

Our lives only make sense we allow others’ light to shine, when we share what we have, because at the end of the day, it comes into full circle and that’s when we please our Creator.

That’s when we’d finally know what we’re called to do.

So whatever it is that you’re called to do, cherish it and savor it.

Loving yourself gets trickier everyday. There are days when you love the person you see on the mirror and there are days where you just want to smash the mirror and think, “When oh When will I be a supermodel?”

Of course, that never happens so you just try to love the person on the mirror, because in truth, God doesn’t make mistakes.

If He willed for me to become a supermodel, I think He has enough power, enough resources and enough wisodom to make me one.

He made me for a reason and I won’t sit down until I know what exactly it is that He wants to do with my life.

He loves me, no matter how I look and on most days, that is more than enough!

Josh is this student of mine who would say really cute things.

Example 1:

“Teacher, I think we need to stop writing cause my mom might miss me!”

Example 2:

“Teacher, why are you so quiet?”

Example 3:

“Teacher, why does he talk weird?”

All in all, it would take the whole day to list down all of Josh’s anecdotes. But I just wanted to share him with you today.

Josh is one of the many reasons why my life is awesome.

*April 05, 2010

I used to define love as something I feel, something I would get and something that made me feel like ap rincess.

Miracles, to me six months ago would mean that someone as wonderful as Corey Monteith would come down from his cloud of sheer beauty and notice someone like me.

That was how I defined love and miracles, no wonder up until six months ago, I was a psychotic bizz.

But today, I felt love in a whole different level. I felt love the way I imagine God experiences it every single day.

I found love in the extraordinary.

My family and I together with our little angel, Frankie, spent a quiet Maundy Thursday together having dinner, enjoying random coversations and just simply enjoying being together.

And while I was pouring my coke light, I felt so much joy and happiness surge inside of me and being in that living room made me feel alive, made me feel loved but most importantly, made me feel that I was truly capable of loving.

And the awesome part is that it had nothing to do with roses or any romantic gestures or heck, even a significant other but everything to do with being grateful for simply having dinner with the people you love the most.

Something so simple can be filled with so much joy I started thinking why I was so into silly fairytales to begin with.

The old song which contained these lyrics, “These are the moments I thank God that I’m alive, these are the moments I’d remember all my life. I’ve got all I’ve waited for and I couldn’t ask for more” described tonight and what amazes me is the fact that with God in the center, every moment is a miracle, every moment is an opportunity for supreme happiness, no designer bags, no clothes from Zara or shoes from Nine West. No declaration of love, no fireworks.

John Ortberg was right, in letting go of what we have in us, we are the most satisfied because we become less self absorbed and we just live a life that’s accountable to Him.

Such a wonderful feeling.

My own miracle, right here, right now.

You know the secret to life is simple.

You just have to keep fighting, no matter what the cirucmstances are and what battles you may have in your head, you keep fighting.

You remain steadfast and you stay in faith.

Which I know is easier said than done, because everyday, the moment you wake up, especially if you’re walking with Christ, is a battlefield waiting to happen.

And you have to fight.

Yes it’s as simple as that, joy in Him. I think if we all understood this concept, life would be ten times easier.

This coming from someone who wants to control every single aspect of life and some parts of the future as well.

But the important thing is to know who we belong to and who controls our destiny, our future and the people we meet.

We are free in Christ.

It’s that simple.

Ed Link Outing today in Paseo, Sta. Rosa.

Ate rice after three million years (okay in truth, four years) and just had all around good day. We had our impromptu fashion show, Micah and I ate dinugan for the first time (worth it for me!) and we just roamed around the outlet stores looking for things to buy (i just got cookies from marks and spencer).

You know what John Ortberg said was true there are days when you know that God loves you and today was just one of those days that I really felt it.

God answers prayers! So never cease.

Thanks for the good day, girls 🙂