I had a few jaunting realizations during my lunch break while I was reading Sophie’s World (which is funny because nothing I learned came from Sophie’s World!) and munching on my current favorite lunch treat: Yakisoba-Beef.

• Nakakapagod narin pala magdrama. Life indeed throws us a million and one curveballs and if I’m going to cry and rant about every single curveball, then I will not move forward with my life. I’ll be stuck in the same damned cycle just because I refused to seek for help or let the little things slide. Now, I realize what it means to be emptied and be filled by God alone which leads me to my second realization…
• No matter how much people love you, no matter how you expect them to be there, there will be days and circumstances wherein they would disappoint you and not because they want to but because they’re people too. Just like you and me, they get hurt, they say things they don’t mean to say and they can break you apart with thier words. But it’s okay, hindi kailangan magalit ng sobra sobra sa mga taong to, because these are the people who we would learn the most from.
• Never give in to your emotions: No matter how right you may seem, take a breather and don’t bitchslap everyone you meet. Better yet, deal with your issues head on. Stop forming this well of hatred and anger in your heart. With me kasi, everything has to make sense. Why this person hurt me, what’s wrong with that person. Na realize ko na ako, may mali din…
• The problem with me is that I always expect people to be perfect and be at thier best. Which is sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m particuarly friends with anyone, I work well with people until you do something insensitive (intentional or not) and it becomes a big deal with me. You can say I’m very sensitive. If you hurt me, end of the world na, or rather of our friendship. No second chances. We can be civil but there’s that mark you left with me already which, on all levels is wrong. Nobody deserves to be fit into that silly, impossible standard.
• I used to fear rejection and getting hurt. I used to think that if someone hurts me– end of the world na yun. That was the problem with me, I used to rely on people and my relationships with them to make me happy, never realizing that all I needed was to focus on the Lord and from there everything would just flow. I used to do it the other way around, I used to think na, if I fit everything into my life’s own blueprint and showed it to God, okay na (yes, I can be verrrry controlling!). So that’s something I have to change.
• There’s always room for change. I used to be afraid that I couldn’t change, but Pastor Paul said that whenever we feel fear, that’s coming from the devil and not the Holy Spirit. So, in a way, my situation at the moment sucks, but its the price I have to pay because without this hell of a situation then I wouldn’t see the loopholes in my character. So I’m grateful to it, because the devil meant it for evil and the Lord turned it around for my good.
• I want to rid of my bitterness and God’s doing that.