“At the end of the day, it’s still him”
Was what my mom told me this morning over breakfast and with the rain and some good ol John Legend songs it made me miss you all over again.
Only this time, I don’t miss you in the painful, agonizing way that I used to. Instead, I miss you without a sign of longing.
I miss you just because I do- nothing more, nothing less.
I’ve come to realize that when it was our time, I never had to make an effort. I never had to pretend to be someone I’m not and I never had to think of the silly things I said during our time together.
Everything just sort of fell into place and you always felt like home to me.
Now that i’m meeting other people, it has become more difficult for me to find someone with the same wit and the same charm. Someone who I know just like the back of my palm.
I know your mood swings. I know that when you say something you really don’t say it because you mean it but you say it because you can.
Yes, others may have treated me better, but they don’t have the same charm or the same grace as you do.
They don’t know how to truly make me smile or how to fly me to the moon, so to speak.
It’s inevitable that I compare you to everyone who came after you.
But this is the only thing that makes sense at this point: they’re not you.
Which is why I have to constantly make an effort to like them or make an effort to believe that they like me too.
Because if it’s not you, then how does it make sense–at all?
Maybe in another lifetime, we were together and maybe you weren’t the spoiled brat that you are (I had to inject that-sorry!).
I wrote this letter because I miss you and nothing else.