People close to me, most especially my family are weirded out by surreal belief in destiny. I have no idea how and when I started believing in destiny but I do. Yes, I do.
I believe that there is that one person out there for every single one. But then when I was discussing this with guy of logic, Arvin he asked me this questions that still haunts me up to this day. “If there is someone out there for everyone then why are there people who are alone?”
I was baffled because I didn’t have an answer ready for that, I was asking myself the same thing. If there is someone out there for everyone, why are there people who aren’t with someone. I told you Arvin has a great way of messing with people’s minds. But anyway, that in a way gave my bubble of hope a burst.
My cynical way of thinking took over the hope that I had. What if I was one of those very few who didn’t have anyone in their lives? What if I was destined to be alone? What if I would never ever get to have my first kiss ala Drew Barrymore or what if id have it when im fifty (stupid I know)? You see those are the thoughts that come to my mind when I go and think about my destiny.
But from time to time my hope comes back (this happens when Arvin isn’t around,he he he) and I start thinking of the day when my “destiny” and I would finally meet. I still have doubts. But I have faith.
I am still cynical but deep inside of me, that part of me that people don’t see wishes that there is someone out there for me. Someone I actually like, not just someone for the sake of having someone.
I have my conviction of staying single until the time comes, but that conviction does not take away the days of depression and cynisim (that aptly describes today).
But whatever my mood is, I still strongly believe in destiny, in fatum, in serendipity. I believe that making choices is vital that’s what makes life interesting but despite all the choices we make, no matter what road we take if we’re destined to be with someone no matter how far away we are from that person your going to see each other, fall in love and all that sappy stuff that movies are made of.
but for the meantime all you can do is wait. wait and hope that all the crap that ive been ranting about in this entry is true.
*wink*