i want to read this entry five years from now. i want to be able to look back and see how much i have grown.
i’ve kept this blog since 2004, a little hypocritical teenager who was so lost all she could do was write down her pent up anger for the entire web to see.
it was a good outlet.
i got my inspiration from Ted Mosby today, who else?
And he said something along the the lines of, “over time, we have become our own doppelgangers, a far cry from who we used to be.”
okay, that wasn’t the exact verbatim (okay, that really makes me feel like a teacher)
looking back to five years ago, i was a 16 going on 17 year old who was about to enter college.
back then i had no idea what i was going to get into and i had no idea that i was going to get my heart broken, i was going to get insulted over some girl’s blog entry, i was going to endure two years in a job i wasn’t prepared for and i was going to trek over the Trinoma overpass crying over my first job.
i also didn’t know that i was going to meet the most difficult man who have ever lived on earth and i didn’t know that he was going to break my heart on the first date alone (okay, probably on the second date).
there were a lot of things i didn’t know, and if i were going to be given a chance to talk to my seventeen year old self, i don’t think i would tell her any of my experiences.
and not because i want to torture myself (or her, i’m getting confused) but because all those experiences led her to the greatest relationship she could ever have and that’s the one she has with her King of Kings.
okay, i’m confusing myself, talking in the third person.
but it makes a lot of sense. if my life five years ago were perfect then i wouldn’t have that day of turnaround when i realized that the things i wanted weren’t nearly as satisfying as my relationship with Him, the one and only.
so now that my memories play through my mind like deleted movie scenes, i secretly feel amazed because God brought me from one point to another, making sure that each teardrop brought significance to my life and my relationship with Him.
i wouldn’t change anything, because i’m at a good place. although i know that five years from now, when i look back to this blog entry, i know, that i’m going to be in an even better place.
and i really don’t know what is ahead for me, but i know they would be nothing but good things because God has nothing but the best and i stand on that with faith.
and God’s best doesn’t mean that there won’t be tears, because there would be, but God’s strength would be enough to overcome and become a conqueror.
i take a deep breath as i end this entry because i know that once i hit send, the new adventures would begin.