i never learn and why things should change drastically.

So true, I never learn.
Whenever I say that nothing’s happening in my life,
a bomb drops.
And one has just dropped earlier,
about twenty minutes ago
and it poured on me like a bucket of cold water.
So, what poured on me?
Well, it was another form of betrayal.

When I started this new blog of mine,
i was hoping that everything I write would be positive.
But, hello, this is me we’re talking about.

I have resolved to no longer be cynical with the beautiful life that I have been blessed
with.
I plan to stick to that resolution,
but that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t say how I feel today.
I feel betrayed,
I feel cheated.
Funny thing,
these feelings aren’t new anymore.
I must admit that I am not mad or angry.
Just deeply dissapointed.
He isn’t for me,
I deserve better.
Again, I know these things.
And now I understand them.
But what’s ,kind of hard to understand is the fact
that my supposedly good friend didn’t even tell me what was going on.
She made me look stupid.
She made me think that she was my friend.
Okay, she’s still my friend,
it would be cheap to not be her friend anymore.
But still it stings.
So things have to change.
I have to stop trusting people too much,
this time they have to earn my trust.
I should stop focusing on those negative things.
I should be more sure of myself.
I should stop blaming myself for things I cannot control.
I have to change.
i seriously have to let go.
I know I have.
But again, betrayal cuts deep.
Whatever that means.

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