I haven’t checked my e-mail in about two weeks, I bet Karla is really frustrated with me. I’ve been so busy that I’ve also neglected any other form of entertainment except for Singing Bee which is becoming a new favorite. I also missed the premiere of Pushing Daisies, which is a show that I’ve waited to air for the longest time.

In short, I don’t have a social life anymore, I have also neglected my blog and that may be the reason why my thoughts have been jumping from one situation to another without any clarity. It’s all a mess in my head, there’s no clear line between work and social life, but I know that work is taking up most of my cerebral space.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying but I guess I’ve been pushing away the other thoughts, which are just as important in the farthest part of my brain to avoid analyzing them. Work has consumed me and the other integral parts of my life have suffered.

Taking Risks

Really, what is it all about anyway? What is taking risks all about anyway? And is taking the risk worth it?

I made a life turning phone call yesterday and let me tell you, when I dialled the person’s number my whole world shook. I got so dizzy and my stomach felt like it was once again on the Jurassic ride in Universal Studios. I’ve never done anything that required so much to lose.

I can’t answer you if I gained anything from that experience but then again as Joel Osteen always says, God takes you out of your comfort zone to take you higher. I’m confused but I’m optimistic that that gut-wrenching phone call served its purpose in my life. I’d look back and say, “Good thing, I made that phone call”

In a twisted way, what I’m trying to say is that sometimes, taking the risk is worth it, even if things don’t turn out the way you want them to, it’s still worth it.

Next challenge please.

Graduation Day 2008

I wasn’t as nostalgic, I have no idea why. Maybe it’s because I’ve been in the “real” world for quite awhile now and I’ve gotten used to it already that there was no fear or anxiety left for me to feel. Honestly, I just felt like a penguin in my black toga. But there’s a sense of accomplishment there, I got through college just fine. I’m going to miss my friends, these are probably the people that would make me laugh on shitty days, the memories would never be forgotten 🙂 Pictures will be posted soon! :p

Relationships

Complicated. Don’t fall into its trap, it’s very messy. I’m very straightforward when it comes to relationships. If it’s black, it’s black. There’s nothing in between. I don’t know if I’m expecting too much but I am a big fan of CLARITY. There must be a line somewhere, God knows that I treat my friends differently from someone special. Why can’t everyone be like that? Can’t people be honest? If you don’t like me, then tell me. People need to grow up. That’s all I can say.

But then again, I don’t think I’d be this affected if he didn’t mean anything to me at all.

If there are two emotions that I’d rid the world of it would be:

A) Insecurity

B) Jealousy/Envy

It doesn’t serve any purpose at all.

Second Servings…

Maybe my mind games went overboard this time. I don’t know why I have this attitude of pushing people away by making them jealous. I guess it’s how I prove if someone likes me or not.

Again, relationships only work for Pacey and Joey for someone as overanalytical as I am, I don’t think they do work as magically.

I have no idea if this blog entry made sense, but hey, I’m alive. 🙂