i met my husband a few days/weeks/ months ago.
only he doesn’t know it yet and to be honest, i don’t think i know that for sure as well.
it was everything i expected it to be. it was pure magic.
it was magical, you know the first look and everything cheesy in a Hugh Grant movie.
however, in my own neurotic way, it wasn’t the love story i expected it to be.
for some reason i have this pre-conceived notion that it’s going to be this way and when things work out in any other way than expected, i run away and believe that there’s something else better for me out there.
well, that’s what i do, i run. i blame, i run and i just hide.
but anyway, that wasn’t a complete fantasy but in the same way, it was nothing like i expected it be and it’s an entirely different story even though i made it the introduction of my blog.
so just in case you were wondering, there’s nothing juicy to share here.
i’ve been going through a tough couple of weeks although i’ve learned to rely on the strength freely given by Him, instead of constantly looking to my circumstances and others to make me feel alive inside.
and i guess that’s where the gel just fits together (is this an analogy i’m using correctly).
i used to think i was Belle in the Beauty and The Beast, actually that’s a lie, i was never Belle, i hated being those cartoon princesses.
Let’s just say that I’ve always wanted to be Joey Potter because come on Dawson and Pacey is just the dream team right? How can a girl go wrong, right?
okay, again, not the point.
But long sob story short, I am not that girl anymore.
I thought I was, considering the silly events of the past weeks. I thought I would run away to my emotional safety net of finding someone else to make me happy and fill the void.
As if one person could magically make it all go away.
And to put it on one person’s shoulder is a crime in itself, isn’t it?
Nobody deserves that kind of responsibility.
i really don’t know if he indeed would end up to be the love of my life but it doesn’t really matter because these days I just thank the Lord for little opportunities as such, opportunities where I can enjoy life’s little pleasures and not rely on them to make me complete.
I guess there’s a big difference.
And the difference may not show to other people, but knowing that I can take pleasure in something beautiful that life gave me even for just two hours is a blessing in itself.