You must be wondering why I’ve been relentlessly bombarding my multiply account with tagolog entries, I don’t know maybe it’s because I’m so tired of writing reports in English or maybe because I find it a challenge to write in Tagalog simply because my officemates say that I cannot write one to save my life and parang mas may impact pag Tagalog eh, so sue me.
So kamusta na si Carla-kay? ay thank God, hindi na siya ganun ka drama.
I’ve been having a good week. The Lord has been good. Over the weekend, I had a conversation with someone with who I had an argument with two years ago and this is something that I would never admit to him but our conversation haunted me.
Ewan ko anong tawag doon, but I think I was caught in a time warp. Mahirap din pala pag walang closure, kasi after two years, kahit naka-move on ka na, may issues parin kasi nga walang closure. That made sense, I know that did.
I was haunted mainly because old issues resurfaced and I got into thinking that I never truly moved on from my old self and my old weaknesses. I got scared and it forced me to reevaluate myself and my actions.
Then I realized that God is still in the process of changing me. I’m grateful that I’m not the same as I was two years ago but I’m not perfect yet. I’m happy with who I am now because I know that even though I have weaknesses, its okay because God’s power works best in our weakness. That’s not an excuse but that means that I don’t have to beat myself up every single time. *So much for writing this entry in tagalog.
Masaya na ako ngayon… Naka move on na si Carla-kay. Slowly but surely, I’m learning to rely on myself alone to make myself happy. It’s not being selfish pero I’ve given myself the freedom to feel good about myself even without someone special or significant. Ngayon ko lang narealize na kung hindi niya ako napapasaya, then why include him in my life, diba? An old song says, “love doesn’t have to hurt”
My baby brother got his heart broken yesterday and being the protective older sister that I am, I wanted to take the hurt away from him just because I know how much it sucks (I also wanted to torture the people who broke his heart but of course, I couldn’t). But then again, I know that he needs this hurt in order to mature (God knows I was a hurt more than a few times before learning anything of significance) but I wish that it wouldn’t hurt that much, it pains me to know the amount of hurt he’s enduring.
Good thing that he has a sister who has so much experience in this area. Yun siguro yung dahilan kung bakit ang dami nag break ng heart ko. Haha. To serve this purpose.
Masaya maging masaya. I’m telling you that. So if you have the chance to be happy: GRAB IT. 🙂
Masaya na walang baggage. 🙂