However, it still annoyed me that everything was bout valentine’s day but I am no longer as cynical as I used to be. So allow me to be a bit mushy, okay?

I’m thinking of doing something nice for my parents and my baby brother and send messages to my friends but I would no longer wish and hope, wish and hope, wish and hope.

I am proud to say that I have stopped wishing on destiny. If there would be someone for me, he would appear… at the right time. I don’t have to look for him neither must I change myself and how I look because when he comes he’d like me for who I am and vice versa.

The journey of searching for love that happened three years ago has stopped. I no longer search for it, no longer do I cry over the fact that my crush-of-the moment hasn’t reciprocated my “love” for him. Hard to believe but I also stopped having crushes on REAL GUYS ( Roddick, Timberlake, Federer and my beloved, Dicaprio doesn’t really count), what’s the point of being useless on such useless thing?

This may be an embarrassing thing to say but there was a guy, who wasn’t from school, who I liked for such a long time and there was a time (erk) when I’d get up in the morning and feel so bad because he wasn’t interested. I never told him that I liked him though or did anything to make him feel that he’s special. But I’m the type of person who would just know if a guy doesn’t like me and for a very painful year that consumed my life.
It was stupid.
It was stupid to base my happiness on just that.
The Lord took away the emotions because I asked him to, that person was definitely not for me and He made me realize that.

Maybe that’s the reason why I am not cynical anymore, instead, I’m celebrating because you know what?

I create my own happiness and never again would I depend on a man to make me happy. I can do that on my own, my family can do that for me.

The Lord can do that for me.

And that my friend, is definitely worth smiling about.