the art of being me…


I’ve said it a million times I am often upredictable and moody. Well, I am but one thing I can be sure of: I am always honest and basically what you see is what you get. I guess the thing with me is that I don’t always say what I feel, but when in the mood I know I can be relentless in saying how I feel. I guess it all boils down to that: I can be very very moody. Moody in a sense that I can be laughing one hour and then crying the next. My dad often says that with me, there’s no balance, its either im mad or im not. Some people have tried to define or “disect” my moodiness, but I don’t think they ever could cause I can’t even “disect” it myself.
I’m never in black in white though. For example with my non exsistent love life. I can never make up my mind, which can be a huge problem. I cannot just sit down and say, “This is who I like.” I’ve never made up and mind and no pressure though, because I know I’m not yet ready.
I know I am still a child at heart. I guess that’s where the contradiction starts. Its like there are times when I just want to be taken care of by my friends and family. Responsibilities sometimes scare me. I still love cartoons and daydreaming. I am still stuck in my own fantasy world.
But at the same time.I like the feeling of being “grown up” or matured. I like taking care of the people I love and “philosophical” movies as opposed to the cartoons. I love doing things my way and due to my own stubborness miss out on older people’s advices.
I’m at that point in my life wherein i’m contented with simply being who I am. A far cry of who I used to be. I am no longer bitter or drenched in self pity but I must admit those days come but I get over myself and move on.
I am no longer as superficial as I used to be. I’ve come to realized that looks aren’t everything. Okay, so maybe im not the prettiest of the bunch, I have come to realize that people who think that’s the only thing that’s important is not worth my time.
I am at that point wherein I strive to no longer be annoyed by people that I don’t like. Its either I ignore or understand where there coming from.
I think i’ve also learned the art of moving on. There have been a lot of things in my life that have caused bruises but I have decided to let it go already.
I have resolved to move on. There’s nothing else left to do. I used to be so consumed of what happened before that its pulling me back.
My life is so much better now. . . just cause I have learned to move on.