The Unshading of Misagh Bahadoran

“Really? You’re not a football fan?” Misagh Bahadoran, one of the country’s most popular football stars asked me in wide – eyed wonder. I was quick to defend myself saying I grew up a basketball girl but found football interesting.
With thousands of followers across all social media, Misagh is as charming as people say he is. Speaking with a thick accent that most people find appealing, he is also quick-witted, and refreshingly honest. Having been surrounded by athletes my entire life, straightforward honesty can be quite disengaging and intriguing.
The 28-year-old Filipino – Persian player first caught the attention of Filipino football fans in 2011 right smack in the middle of the sport’s steady rise in the country. His story, however, is an unlikely one.
Born in Pampanga to a Filipina, Misagh was raised in Iran and have been playing football since he was six years old. Football was and continues to be his main passion, however, it took a back seat when his father urged him to complete a degree before pursuing the sport full time. Heeding his father’s advice, Misagh took up Dentistry from Centro Escolar University (his two older siblings have also taken medical related courses) and focused on Futsal first by being part of the Philippine Futsal team. His skills led him to be the two time top scorer in Southeast Asia. Staying true to his promise despite the many offers to join the national team, Misagh only tried out for the Philippine Azkals the day after graduation. Misagh bested out the competition and scored one of the only two spots available on the roster during that year. Misagh has long been known for his quickness on the field and his hard work (the trait that he is most proud of).
For Misagh, who is now the captain of Global FC, the growth of football in the country has been astounding, “There used to be a time when we would pay to play football. I never imagined that football would be televised here and have leagues of its own.” He continues to hope for its continual growth in the country, even suggesting that schools would include football in their programs to encourage more children to take up the sport.
What’s engaging about him, however, isn’t limited to his talent and skills but in how he genuinely interacts with people. Known as the nicest guy on the team, Misagh’s demeanor of being friendly, hospitable, and kind boasts of his Filipino roots. His candidness easily made the conversation enjoyable going from serious topics to more personal ones rather quickly.
He was a no holds barred kind of guy in a way that was instantly refreshing.
There was one question he was shy to answer though and that was when he was asked to describe himself off the field. He said his friends would do a better job of doing so and his long time manager and our common friend, Patrick Ace Bright was quick to say that Misagh is generous and surprisingly so, intelligent.
Without meaning to stereotype athletes, Misagh’s depth proved that he was more than just your typical jock. With more prodding, Misagh said he’s often described as talkative and makulit by those closest to him.
And while he refused to describe himself, the group concluded that the best word to use was charismatic and with the twinkle in his piercing blue eyes, it’s safe to say that he agreed.

The Romanticizing of The Martial Law and The People Power Revolution

For more on this article, click here.

I was born in 1988, a good two years after the People Power Revolution that ousted the dictator Ferdinand Marcos and his rather profligate family. I learned about martial law and its main characters the way I learned about heroes of centuries past: through the collective stories of teachers, family members, and the media. In my young mind the martial law was told like a fairy tale: there was an evil king named Marcos who wanted to control the country and spend all its money on shoes but evil was overcome by a petite woman, the united outcry of the nation, and oddly enough, the color yellow.
 
It was one of those things that you heard about but didn’t quite grasp simply because you weren’t there to experience its effects. At 26, I may experience its long standing effects but my mind couldn’t seem to comprehend what it’s like to have a curfew other than what my parents have set and as a writer, what it’s like to have your voice silenced.
 
A few months ago, the trends #NeverAgain and #NeverForget roamed in my social media timelines as a result of youngsters who never went through martial law crying for the government to reconsider it. In the mark of the 29th year of the People Power Revolution, I decided to go beyond what was taught in the classroom to take a full grasp of what really transpired.
 
Truth is, information about is readily available, a quick Google search will lead you to numerous articles, images, photos, and commentary not unlike this one. There’s an economic look at it that I rather enjoyed (read it here), a controversial one from humanitarian aid worker Caroline Kennedy (read it here), and of course, the ever reliable Wikipedia.
 
Numerous articles have discussed the violence that happened after dark and most importantly, the silencing of one’s freedom of speech. As I browsed through pages and pages of what transpired back then, it made me shiver. Coming from a generation who can’t help but post their “opinions” on their social media sites every hour of every day, the thought of being banned to do so can be quite alarming.
 
And while I initially wanted this to be an understanding of what went on during the dark days of the country, the real question echoes louder, how has the country changed since then? How has it changed the way we view things? Do charming leaders and their partners still easily sway us without really studying what they have to show for? Are we simply repeating history and passing today’s government as better simply because we’re not told to go home at a certain hour?
 
Have we romanticized martial law and its effects to the point of wanting to go back to it?
 
Have we made better choices in terms of our leaders or are we simply choosing the best thief amidst the candidates? Have we simply accepted graft and corruption as a way of life? Have we lost all hope? Have we stopped believing that change can happen?
 
And most importantly, do we still continue to blame past administrations for what is currently happening in the country or are we proactively acting towards positive change? We can continue to blame the Marcoses all we want and yes, our reasons are legit, but has our blaming stopped us from moving forward?
 
May we all think of these thoughts as we celebrate our 29th year of freedom and at the same time, ask ourselves, have we been using that freedom well?

The Tinderella Experiment

For more about this article, click here.

When I was a child, I enjoyed watching fairytales. My romantic idealism was heavily influenced by three things: the young adult novels I devoured, the Disney movies my dad used to keep his ADD (short attention span) infused daughter entertained, and chick flicks starring but not limited to Freddie Prinze Jr., Drew Barrymore, Ryan Philippe, and Rachel Leigh Cook.   Naively, I hoped to have a meet-cute* story of my own to share. You know bumping into someone at the bookstore while you both reach for the same book (still my favorite imagined story to date), however, I am quick to remind myself that we are no longer in the early millennium and have now entered into what I dare say, The Tinder Age.  

Tinder, for most of you folks who don’t know (have you been living under a rock?), describes itself as “how people meet, its like real life, only better.” Wikipedia goes on to say that Tinder is a matchmaking mobile app that uses geolocation technology to find your match. So in simplistic terms, it’s an app just like your Facebook app but leads you to a database of people you can meet up with at any given time.   

Convenient right?   

Most people would be quick to argue that Tinder is for simply “meeting” people just like you would in bar while others say that it was created for the purposes of hooking up and everything else that happens after dark. 

To be fair, I first heard of Tinder in late 2012 when a friend of mine showed me his Grinder app (the Tinder for the LGBT community) and back then it was said to be an app for hooking up so you would understand my initial apprehension. However, as more and more countries adapt to it, even the more conservative ones in Southeast Asia, it has evolved into a bar on wheels and is perceived to be no different than going out and meeting people in clubs. It’s safe to say that the stigma of being branded as “thirsty” no longer applies.   I never really gave it much thought until friends of mine started using it and that’s when The Tinderella Experiment was born.   

The Tinderella Experiment (term coined by my good friend, Juliet) is the process of downloading the Tinder app and using it for research purposes only. After hearing so many stories about the app (there is a good mix of happy and terror stories), my friends and I decided to give it a go collectively using Juliet’s Facebook profile during one particularly boring lunch hour. The results were hilarious and while nobody received any indecent proposal yet as of this writing, there have been successful matches that we didn’t bother responding to. We simply wanted to see what the hype was about, check out the dating pool to see if we were missing out (turns out, we weren’t as far as our distances were concerned) and just like anything experimental, drop it.   

The Tinderella Experiment was thoroughly enjoyable simply because we weren’t in it to win it. The experiment brought my friends and I together through its hilarious profiles (no offense) and the crazy moments when actually see someone you know.   It did, however, make me rethink about today’s dating culture. Is Tinder a form of settling or just like anything else in life, a better, quicker way of doing things? Does it make me less of a person if I sign up for it or does it make me new age? These were the thoughts that simply couldn’t be answered by swiping left or right. 

It’s safe to say that the Philippines IS still generally a safe place to Tinder in. My friends who have tried it have said that Pinoy men are still cautious and not too straightforward (as of writing, at the very least) and nobody has been outrageous enough to simply want the deed. What saddens me though is seeing some of fully committed men (either through verbal agreement or legit vows) also snooping around to see if there’s someone better out there.  

And while I may be too conservative for my own sake, I do believe that people have the right to live life the way they want them to and for this reason, I freely give single people the chance to Tinder all they want (sige na nga, kahit yung nasa dating stages palang, hmph!). However, my old soul refuses to accept the fact that some thoroughly committed men (and possibly women) still Tinder to their heart’s delight.   As in anything in life, it’s not the app itself that’s a bad thing but in how we use it. If you’re single and not actively pursuing anyone, I can’t judge you for how you choose to find true love. But if you are married or committed as in committed, then I am judging you a bit. Why window-shop when you can’t buy? Most importantly, why commit if you still want to window shop? Have we really turned into an entitled generation that has proven that enough is never enough? Do we no longer take our words seriously and stuff like… uh… commitment? Are we always on the lookout for something better? And when we find better, do we leave people behind? Ang tanong ko lang talaga naman is this: bakit hanap ka pa ng hanap kung meron ka na sa tabi mo? Kung gusto mo mag enjoy (or explore), bakit hindi ka na lang makipag break?   

That frustration aside, I don’t find anything wrong with the app and while I personally would not choose it, I don’t look at those who do differently. I’ve always believed that there’s no one way of doing life but I just personally prefer to do mine the old fashioned way.   That being said, I do believe it all boils down to people wanting company and wanting to be wanted and I believe that everyone’s entitled to it no matter how they find it.

Squad

Earlier today, I came across Taylor Swift’s interview on The Telegraph (Yes, I’m a Swiftie and yes, I also love Drake so buzz off) and what caught my attention was how her life has shifted from dating high profile men to developing friendships with equally successful women. 

For the first time in a long time, Taylor (who has that serial dater thing down) doesn’t seem to be on the lookout for a boyfriend but instead taking time to actually form important, life changing relationships. 
I was fascinated with the article for a good twenty minutes and then got distracted by work before I thought about it again. 
Relationships are critical and vital and this is the reason why I have been praying for a solid core group of friends for as long as I can remember. 
And tonight after seeing this photo of the queen Taylor with her besties

I couldn’t help but thank God for my  own group of friends who are equally beautiful and successful in their own right. While we may not see each other on a daily basis, we do text each other enough to drain our batteries and that kind of support is essential. I’ve learned to celebrate myself more simply because these women have encouraged me to love me. 
So tonight, I celebrate friendships and the wonderful opportunity to do life with these beautiful people. Truly, answered prayers are truly the best. 

Not for Me

The phrase was coined by one of today’s most beloved feminists although I couldn’t quite place which one of the three: Mindy Kaling, Amy Poehler, or Tina Fey. I’ve read their books around the same time and my exhaustion from the gym is getting in the way of my memory at the moment. 

But anyway, one of those three brilliant women said this and it never quite resonated with me until tonight. 
As children, we have always been told that we can do anything and while there is truth to the fact that yes, we can do anything, there’s also truth to the nugget that we can’t do everything. 
We are all created and wired differently and as cheesy as it may sound there’s truth to the saying that we all have different purposes in life. 
I think most of our struggles in life stem from wanting to be someone that we’re not. When we see people thrive in certain areas, we quickly assume that that too is what would define success for us or make us happy. Being an obsessive compulsive A plus personality individual have made me think of life as black and white with no greys in between. 
For awhile, I thought there was a formula as to how life should be lived without realizing the golden truth that I can define that for myself. That I can take life slow, see what I like and don’t like and act upon it based on the values I grew up with. 
Most importantly, I’ve come to realize that life shouldn’t be lived as a way to feed into an image of who I want to be. 
Authenticity is becoming a big theme of my year and by allowing myself to fully know which things are for me and aren’t for me, I am slowly learning to be authentic in a way that is kind to myself and those around me. 
By saying “not for me”, I am learning to accept that there are certain women I can never be no matter how inspired I am by them while at the same time, there are are parts of myself that I effortlessly become because that’s who I am supposed to be.
I don’t know about you but it feels so good having not to compete with anyone. After playing that game from the moment I turned seven, there is freedom in knowing that I am okay as I am and that there is no longer anything to prove to anyone and in it, I find contentment, I find peace.
By boldly saying “not for me”, I am also welcoming all the things that are for me and in the short while that I have, it has been nothing but glorious.

Being a man in a macho world

MANHOOD has always been associated with three words: brawn, money, and power. Men have long been told that in order to be a real man, it’s important to be macho, regardless of how you treat other people.

As a sister to two brothers, this thought can be quite alarming. Is this all that is expected of men these days? That as long as he has fame, fortune, and brawn he can go around treating people, especially women, with no respect?

Men are supposed to be leaders but lately, it seems like more men are on the endless Peter Pan syndrome: wanting all the perks of adulthood without actually committing to the responsibilities of being one.

These thoughts were on my mind when a good friend, Jodi Sta. Maria, gave and encouraged me to read the book Act Like a Man by Dennis Sy. Dennis, who is the senior pastor of Victory Greenhills, jumpstarted the movement actlikeaman.org in the hopes of helping “Filipino men to become more responsible, accept responsibilities, be productive, and treat women with love and respect.” The blog, which is the leading blog for men in Asia, was created out of the lack of resources teaching men the virtues mentioned above.

When asked what inspired him to create a book as inspired by the movement, he answered, “We live in an age today where men have remained boys. It’s what we call Peter Pan syndrome—boys who shave. The book is an answer and a tool for men to live out real manhood today by embracing their unique roles in the family and society.”

The book highlights the importance of accepting the role given to men, to not simply be passive about the lives they are leading but being active in knowing what their passions are and in living a life that is true to these passions. For Dennis, being a man is more than just what he receives from those around him, but lies in what he contributes to his family and society.

He explained, “Men are to be producers. Men, in our culture, have been defined by what we consume rather than by what we produce. We need to tend our fields and be fruitful in whatever field God has called us. When men start to see themselves as cultivators, it would reflect in our marriages. We would treat our wife with respect and love her exclusively. We would commit to be faithful to her. We would be planners and bring direction to our marriages and family.”

Dennis added that taking responsibility is the first step in becoming the man the society seeks for today. Men who know their purpose, act on it, and surround themselves with mentors who would teach them the truth about being a real man.

That being a man, unlike what society teaches, has nothing to do with what a man gets but in what he can give to those around him.

And while finding men with purpose, passion, and values maybe similar to finding a needle in a haystack, it’s men like Dennis who are brave enough to pursue their purpose prove that there is hope after all. That maybe, just maybe, one man’s bravery would be enough to start a change that’s most needed in today’s generation.

* * *

For more on Dennis Sy and the book Act Like a Man, visit actlikeaman.org.
www.carlabiancaravanes.com

Love the Leap

IT’S the Valentine’s Day weekend and it is only fitting to talk about nothing but love.
Love, in all its shapes, forms, and sizes should always be celebrated. Love is never simply confined by the relationships we do or don’t have in our lives but rather a virtue that must always be present.
In the midst of the happy chaos of our everyday lives, it is important take a step back and see just how present love truly is. A critical part of love we often overlook is our love for ourselves, which is the foundation of the love we relay to the people around us.
Part of loving ourselves is fulfilling what we do and taking risks to become more confident. It has been said that those who are insecure cannot love and this is the reason why should always challenge our selves to be the best version of who we are.
Ginger Arboleda, also known as Mommy Ginger, had a corporate job when she started Manila Workshops in 2012. Initially, she started it as a sideline but when she got pregnant, she decided to quit her 9 to 5 job to focus solely on taking care of herself and her baby during her delicate pregnancy.
The reason for this was that Ginger and her husband were previously told that they could no longer have a baby due to medical reasons. Her pregnancy came as a surprise, which was why she wanted to prioritize having a healthy baby.
Everything was in perfect timing since Manila Workshops turned out to be a very profitable yet purposeful venture for Ginger.
Manila Workshops is an event management services company that provides a venue for individuals to learn more so that they can achieve their personal and professional goals. In a way, Manila Workshops targets people who wish to improve on themselves and their craft, which really is the best gift anyone can give to themselves. Their workshops include lifestyle workshops like parenting workshops, finance management, freelancing, homeschooling and the like.
Ginger shared, “These are the topics they don’t teach you in school but would love to attend because it will make living comfortable, fun, and rewarding.”
Through her experiences with Manila Workshops, Ginger was inspired to begin “Love the Leap.”
The inspiration for Love the Leap is once again founded on self-love, improvement, and taking the risk, “My personal advocacy is really to help those who are adamant and fully committed to creating their own businesses—to provide them with enough knowledge and to share with them the experiences and challenges that I and my other entrepreneur friends had, she explained.”
Love the Leap is a series of workshops that’s meant to fuel and inspire budding entrepreneurs to take a leap of their own. She noted, “It’s scary, especially when you have no knowledge or no one to guide you on what you’re supposed to do.”
Ginger, along with her team, aim to empower others by giving them the tools and knowledge that they need to truly excel in what they do.
Ginger’s leap is an example of what happens when you encourage yourself to do something new, you create a bigger version of yourself and inspire others to do the same.
* * *
For more on Love the Leap, visit www.manilaworkshops.com or www.gingerarboleda.com.
www.carlabiancaravanes.com.

Taking the Leap with Love, Agnessi

I won’t even deny it that I am the biggest cookie lover I know (well, next to my brother, Carl). 

My obsession with just the perfect cookie started when I saw that Filipino Chips Ahoy commercial with the two kids hiding under the table. Since then I have been obsessed with all kinds of chocolate chip cookies and have stopped trying to resist them when I am trying to lose weight.
So when I found out that my friend Carla Ong started Love, Agnessi with her sister, I was ecstatic. Carla and I met when we were working on a project together when she was still with a advertising agency. But what I admired most about her was when she gave up her sought after advertising job to pursue this business with her sister.
Love, Agnessi is a food business that whips up everything indulgent and scrumptious. Carla and her sister, Agnes, have been baking since they were children and it was their passion and love for baking that inspired them to start the now successful business.  For them, it’s more than just a brand or a business, they wanted to make it personable thus the name. Each cookie is wrapped with their love, dedication, and hard work.
For Carla, it was clearly a leap of faith, “I guess you can say that opening a business is a leap of faith especially when you have a good, stable job. There’s no assurance that people will accept your product or like your brand. There is only hope that your passion for it will show through and that would be enough for people to give you a chance.” 
Giving up her day job was challenging but for Carla it was worth the risk, “We have been very fortunate in that regard. We started the business even before I gave up my day job and while I enjoyed the challenges of my day job, I just knew it was time to switch gears and explore my other interests in the food industry.”
It was inevitable for questions to follow once she pursued her passion, “When people ask me about this, I simply say that the experience was great but I felt it was time to embark on a new adventure. This is the first time I ever launched a business and I am glad to be sharing this journey with my sister. People around me have always been very supportive and for that, I am lucky.” 
For her, being an entrepreneur is exhilarating, “It’s nice to see your efforts lead somewhere sweet. We’ve had some pretty tough challenges throughout the years, especially when it came to mastering our recipes, but we really enjoyed the development process And now, we love that we’ve got cookies that puts a smile on people’s faces. That makes the hard work worth it all.”
Her soft, gooey cookie treats are available anytime but they make it special for Valentine’s Day by providing you with heart shaped cookies (ang sweet!) at really low prices. The other plus factor is that they deliver so you can instantly surprise someone minus the hassle. 

 


We all have that one friend we can depend on and for me, that person has always been Elyds. 

We met when we were both PR Assistants for an international school in the South and since then I have always admired her humility and her dedication to her job. She was and continues to be  a consistent workhorse and always worked with no complaints. She also rarely got mad and took everything with a grain of salt. I would always remember her treating me during our school visits because our measly salary never covered much of everything. 
She has always been a source of inspiration to me of how an employee should be and has always been my partner in faith. Now, I’m happy I found a prayer partner in her.
She has also always been a Chess enthusiast and while I really can’t play to save my life, I share with all of you interested in Chess this awesome tournament here in the South. 

In line with this, I urge you to take a moment to say thank you to your real friends who have been with you through thick and thin, they are rare and should be appreciated often. 

As a child, hilig ko na talaga magsulat. There’s nothing more exhilarating than having your thoughts transform into words right before your own eyes. I never thought much of my passion for writing. I thought it was just a past time and a way to let go of my angst. 

Ngayon, I realize napaka buti ng Diyos kasi through my writing I have met so many people na pinapanuod ko lang dati and while it may not be for a Tier One newspaper yet, as long as one of my stories touches one person, okay na ako. 
Just taking the time to thank God for opportunities and making my dreams come true.