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Tales from a Superwoman

Every so often, we meet people who are just ridiculously magical; you just can’t help but want to be around them all the time. A perfect example is my good friend, 26 year old, Sabrina Mesina. Not only is she ridiculously beautiful, extremely kind, and wickedly smart, but also a full time mom to an adorable toddler and wife.
But more than just being a ridiculously wonderful person (and my kindred spirit), Sabrina is also an entrepreneur. Very typical of today’s generation, Sabrina jumped into starting her new business head on, with an unmatchable passion. Her passion and creativity translated into a cool, one of a kind clothing line called Sea Otter and The Starfish. When asked what made her start a business despite the challenges of being a first time mom and wife, she goes on to say, “I started it out of pure necessity. Shortly after the birth of my first son, Gracen, I started buying clothes for him and couldn’t find any that expressed creativity, were comfortable, and at the same time encouraged imagination and freedom of it.” The lack of clothes that expressed a child and a parent’s individuality pushed a fresh out of fashion school Sabrina to make her own line along with her older sister, Haji.
And while she found joy in designing, sewing, and the entire creative process, she recalls the first years to be difficult and involved a lot of learning and listening – which she continues to believe in now, “You can never stop learning. I’m a big believer in constant learning.” Sea Otter and the Starfish soon became a favorite of friends, a popular alternative for their kids, and a great expression of the parents’ lifestyle.
The success of Sea Otter and the Starfish soon inspired her to create what she defines as her “manchild”, a clothing line specifically made for men called Great Authors. Inspired by her great love for literature, “I wanted to make clothes that, in my mind, any of my favorite writers, like Ernest Hemingway, or their characters would wear if they were having coffee with me.” She describes Great Authors as “something classic, not trendy, to wear through and through, and most importantly agree with the wearer.” An added touch is that she sews quotes from some of her favorite novels.

From a single person’s perspective, Sabrina lives such a superwoman lifestyle, when asked how she is able to do it all, she’s quick to say, “Meditation helps a lot, I meditate during quick time outs for myself, read a few pages, hang out with a bunch of good friends. What helped me become professional and get things done is through pre meditation and organizing priorities.” When asked what the biggest challenges were, especially in the fashion industry, “This industry demands socialism, and I am such a recluse, but I’m finding my way. My mother taught me to be strong, no matter what, and this is how I overcome. The most enduring characters are seared with scars of all they have endured right? Making it to any end is no fun without good stories to tell. It also helps when you have a loving, supportive most of friends and family to encourage you,too. Hold on to those people, they won’t fail you.”

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What Your Boss Wants You To Know

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know what your boss is thinking? That in between deadlines, meetings, and the occasional reprimands, you’d know exactly the way the mind of your boss is wired? Truth is, each boss is different the same way each person is, but effective bosses, in general, are leaders, and therefore share the same characteristics.
One of my life’s greatest mentors is Ms. Yay P. Olmedo, my former Advertising professor. From the moment I entered her classroom in 2005, she has been a pillar of strength – one who has taught me so much about life and work. Ms. Yay’s glittered career – which began when she graduated as Cum Laude from the University of the Philippines continued on at the prestigious San Miguel Food Group where she worked as a Vice President. Today, she is an author, a motivational speaker, and a writer on the way to complete her second book Now That You’re Boss, after inspiring many with her first one, Going Up.
In one of our cyberspace conversations of catching up, I couldn’t help but ask her one question, ‘What does my boss expect of me?’ It then inspired this article, most of which I hope many people my age would benefit from. I feel extremely blessed that she was willing to share with me her years of experience, and brilliant ideas in making this article happen.
1)    You Should Know Your Company’s Vision and Must Intersect With Your Own Purpose
Your boss expects you to be one with your organization’s values. Ms. Yay was quick to say that employees who have their “own agenda or are very individualistic will find it hard to fit in an organization, especially if the company values teamwork, and a shared vision. Just like in any relationship, it’s important to know that you mutually understand and believe in each other. As an employee, our biggest responsibility is to set aside our personal interests for the greater benefit of the company.
2)    You Should Know What Your Job Requires
Most arguments between bosses and employees stem from the lack of knowing what it is that one should do. While some bosses are very transparent about what they need, some may be in over their heads and might not be able to orient you thoroughly. Still, it’s your responsibility to get up from your desk and ask. Set expectations to avoid misunderstandings and promote efficiency.
3)    You Should Know That It’s Okay To Ask Questions
Don’t be caught up in the thinking that you’re unqualified or inefficient if you ask questions. Asking questions mean that you are involved in your job and would do anything to improve it. Be interested in your job, and be inquisitive, this would get you far.
4)    You Should Know That You’re Part of a Team
Ms. Yay is quick to admit that the working place is never perfect – there are people you will not get along with, and some would even be obnoxious, but your boss wants you to know that you must rise above that in order to promote a harmonious working environment. Go beyond the little annoyances, and simply know that work is work. Learn as much as you can from each other (especially those from different departments) that will render you more efficient—therefore making you an asset to the team, rather than a liability.

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The Quarter Life Crisis

Believe it or not, it was Kate Bosworth who introduced the term “quarter” life crisis to me. It was in 2006, and she blamed her break up on being “lost” because she was 25 and unsure of what life meant to her. I immediately announced to my best friend that I, too, was going through the same thing with which he replied, “You’re 18.”
Fast forward to seven years later, and I realized that once again, my 18 year old self didn’t know what she was talking about.  It’s the middle of a hectic Wednesday as I write this and I am overwhelmed by things to do, bills to pay, and life in general.
On most days, my little sunshine attitude wins. I see life as a big party full of rainbows and butterflies, but on tough days like this one, I couldn’t help but ask, Is this the good life they promised? Is there more? Is wanting more considered entitlement? When do we say we’re okay and we can stop chasing the proverbial trophy of life?
Belonging to the generation that was told from the moment they step inside their first classroom that they can “achieve” anything they want as long as they set their minds to it may have a few repercussions. By saying that the world is ours, do we constantly search for something more and lessening the chances of actually having a simple, contented life? And is a simple and contented life something to be ashamed of?
With the world in our fingertips, and travel more accessible than it has ever been, am I missing out because I’m not taking advantage of what’s easily given? As the first generation to be fully immersed in this fantastic world of technology, are we losing grip of what truly matters in life? Are we mindlessly chasing the abyss of trips, higher paying jobs, and social media chatter just because it’s something never experienced before? Everyone keeps telling me to “live free” and “travel”, but at the same time, my attempts to do so are thwarted by bills, and other “adult” life matters.
I experienced my quarter life crisis a year ago. I was in the middle of the perfect day job, my dream job, if you must. I was an educational therapist for children with special needs, a college professor, and was on the verge of putting up my own department when I realized that I was spending more time daydreaming about where I should be instead of enjoying where I was.
It definitely was the change I needed, and suddenly, all of my questions vanished. And today, even as I face tough days, I no longer question my purpose, and it makes waking up everyday worth it.
Often, when something in our gut tells us that we need a change, we often do and since we are at an age where we still have time to change it, despite the challenges, I believe we should. I believe that since we are the generation that was told that we can do anything, we might as well nip the bud and go for it.

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Senti Sunday: Tips On How Fresh Grads Can Survive The Corporate Jungle

You can spot a fresh grad from a mile away. Their spirit is brimming with excitement, and often you find them in a “deer caught in headlights” trance. They’re overly eager about everything, and yet you can tell, they’re constantly asking themselves, “What have I gotten myself into?”
I recall being that fresh graduate eager to live the dream and thinking I was fully equipped to handle the stresses of the daily “grind” simply because I worked hard and managed to keep afloat in my college classes. However, a month into my first job, I grew restless of doing the tasks no one wanted: making coffee, running errands (as in doing the grocery), and even moving furniture (don’t ask!). I had that college pride thing going, I did well in school why must I be asked to do such meaningless tasks.
I could only laugh (and smack!) at my 19 year old self. In the true essence of Throwback Thursday, here are a few things I would gladly share with my fresh out of school, sometimes prideful, self.
1)    Drake Was Right: You Start At The Bottom
I could recall in an instant the lowest point of my young career. It was in 2009 and my boss told me to put up billboards somewhere in Muntinlupa. We were in a rush so we weren’t able to secure permits and I spent the afternoon with the boys while putting up billboards and hiding from the security in the area. I could have chosen to sulk, but instead, I enjoyed it and have now become one of my favorite stories to share with my younger officemates. Drake was right though, to earn your spot, you start from the bottom. Being at the bottom pushes you to work hard, and keeps you grounded. That incident has also made me more compassionate towards those who are still starting because I could vividly recall what it was like.
2)    Grind Even If No One Is Watching
We’ve all had that suck up officemate. The one who does nothing but play games all day and yet when the boss comes in, he/she steals the credit to get the spotlight. When I was younger and more temperamental, this often caused me anger. However, my dad often reminded me that if you work hard even when no one’s watching, God will reward you in the light. And so far, so good.
3)    Respect Your Bosses (Yes, Even The Grinch)
I’ve had a boss call me “colorblind” during a meeting, among other insults. Again, my young, angry self often found the need to fight back. However, I’ve come to realize that they’re in authority for a reason, so might as well respect them because even from the most evil ones, you can learn something.
4)    Learn and Pay It Forward
We live in an age where knowledge can be gained in an instant. Take advantage of this and soak in the world. Learn as much as you can, in whatever form you can, and don’t forget to share what you’ve learned with those who are just starting out. We’re all in the struggle together, so might as well lend a helping hand.
5)    Be Patient and Take Risks.
Sometimes, waiting for things to change can be frustrating. And while it’s important to be patient in waiting for your time to come (like what my brother is patiently doing right now), you must also be brave enough to take risks. This is the only time you can try everything you’ve wanted to do. Just trust the process, and believe that things will fall into place as it should.

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Don’t judge me but I’m only seeing When Harry Met Sally for the first time and let me just say that movies before were more magical. 

Also, writing this to remind the very kind people who visit my blog that this blog is very much alive, thank you very much 🙂 
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Purpose

Fresh tears in the morning courtesy of the video below. There are times when we get lost in the world of wanting more and being more (or in the case of women, wanting to lose more weight) while forgetting that we are put on this earth to share God’s love and to help others discover that power.

Watch and may you be transformed.

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Five for Twenty Six

Disclaimer: This article originally came out in my column for The Manila Times. I’ve been writing a pre birthday article for years (even if I was the only one reading it, lol!) and I’m so thankful that this year, God gave me the chance to actually release it in my very own column (kilig to the max). Reposting it here because I’m a sentimental tool.

My love for newspapers rooted from my parents’ attached to the hip parenting. My parents strongly believed that the only way to raise my younger brother and I correctly was if we were constantly with them everywhere. This led my brother and I to learn to entertain ourselves at an early age. Being left in the car while my parents ran a quick errand to the ATM introduced me to the world of newspapers simply because my dad always had a bunch of them lying around in the car (up to this day, my dad insists of having one of every kind). I was seven when I first discovered the writers who wrote about life so vibrantly with a glamorous photo of them accompanying the article they just wrote (there was almost always a birthday article). I just knew in my heart that one day, I too would be sharing my birthday wisdom with the world, and nineteen years later, here I am, typing away in a coffee shop (how cliché) trying to sum up the wisdom I learned in my 26 years of existence.
It’s okay to be the dork. It’s safe to say that I wasn’t the coolest kid growing up. My high school days were spent watching romantic flicks, reading chick lit, rewriting them to fit my liking, watching basketball games, hanging out with my family, eating my heart out, and daydreaming about my very own Nathan Scott. I was a non-conformist from an early age and refused to go to prom because I didn’t believe in their standards of beauty. I sometimes felt guilty because my high school world wasn’t as intriguing as that in the movies I loved, but I don’t regret it one bit, it was those years that prepared me to be the semi-cool, semi-hipster writer chick that I am today. 
Your parents know best, stop arguing. I grew up close to my parents but that didn’t mean that I never argued with them, in fact I did a lot of arguing. However, I have come to realize that your parents would never, ever want to do you harm. In a world where everyone wants to take advantage of you somehow, it’s your parents who can narrowly see through it from the get go, so just listen.
 
Perfect on paper isn’t perfect, period. I’ve always been attracted to ‘perfect’ everything. In my naïve mind, perfect would never hurt me. But as I’ve learned in love and life, there is no such thing as perfection, and at the end of the day, all that matters is the heart of a person. No amount of money, or good education can make up for a bad, surly, entitled attitude. One thing I’ve also learned, the best time to run is the moment you are treated unkindly. Kindness, I have learned is something that cannot be bought or taught in the best universities. If you’ve read my previous entry, it was this year that I truly learned to look beyond my list of set qualities and just love freely.
Be kind to yourself. The world is cruel enough, so might as well be kind to yourself. It’s also best to remember that everyone’s journey is different, and part of being kind to yourself is understanding that another person’s success doesn’t lessen yours. There’s a lot of promotions, love, friendships, and beauty to go around. Be kind to yourself enough to understand this, and soon you’ll find yourself kinder to the world as well. 
                                                                                

Redefine satisfaction. The world offers us so many ways to be ‘satisfied’ in the meaning time. However, I’ve only found real peace when I found Jesus, and it’s something I constantly remind myself, especially when my competitive nature takes over. God has me covered, and no matter what I do, I’m loved. This has impacted the way I view myself, and inevitably, others as well.

It has been a great year 25 and I will forever be grateful to all the bittersweet memories you’ve poured upon me in the past year. God has truly blessed me in tremendous ways and as I enter into my 26th year, I can’t wait to know Him more and be truly secured in the truth of who He is.
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From the moment we came across our first Disney movie, we have been told that love, in order to be true, must last forever. 
While that maybe true, it also greatly underestimates all other kinds love. Because of the fairytales, and the chick lit/ flicks we’ve come across, we start to demand from love instead of seeking to put another first. 
We get lost in the chaos of ‘effort’ and the ‘is he into me’ game without realizing that raw love never demands to be noticed. It just loves simply because there’s no other way for it to be felt. 
Love, they say, transforms. So many stories begin with, ‘he/ she was never who I imagined myself to be with’. Constantly the girl with a list of set standards, this often bothered me up until recently. 
Many writers before me have written about life changing love, and I’ve hesitated in writing about mine out of the fear that my words will never be enough to depict the beauty in my life. 
Just like in the movies, there was an unlikely lead, but unlike the movies, it wasn’t about a relationship, but rather how one changed the other.
This kind of love, no matter how brief or unconventional it may have been wasn’t like what I’ve watched, read, or heard before. The love didn’t demand, but simply seeped into one’s consciousness and left an impact that was going to affect change for a very long time. 
I have come to know that love, just like quote by Mr. Wilde said, has nothing to do with how one looks, where one came from, or even what one has done. Love comes rather unexpectedly and one’s world is changed completely. For others, the changes have been unfortunate, but for me, it has been beautitul. 
No longer does my hardened, cynical heart judge or question, it was as if I was left with a heart so big I now simply accepted people instead of judging them.  
2014 brought about my life’s biggest heartbreak and at the same time, also rewarded me with a love that will greatly affect my view of relationships and people in the future. It may have not been what I asked God for, but it was exactly what I needed to learn. 
I have been humbled two times over: first rather hurtfully because the first one never thought I was enough, and the second one, humbled because I didn’t know I could love beyond one’s imperfections and jarring differences.
It wasn’t the requited love of the books, but it touched me for a moment and I knew that there was power in loving from a distance, and power in choosing to let go while wishing for the best for another. 
It has taught me to be kinder both to myself and others, and most importantly, it cemented my belief that God indeed has a purpose for everyone you meet. 
And while I may regret the first one, I could never regret you, and all the color and laughter you’ve poured into my life. 
Until our paths cross again.