2011 was the year of humbling truths and amazingly answered prayers.


i’d like to think that 2011 was a year where God worked tremendously on who I was on the inside. i have come to realize that what was happening on the inside is not nearly as important as what’s happening on the outside.

i have come to learn that we can face whatever comes our way if we have a strong, solid foundation of who we are and whose we belong to on the inside.


it was quite perfect for me to find this wonderful article a few days ago: http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/ and therefore inspiring me to start working on my annual lists of nuggets every year. it was also quite fascinating to know that most of the things on the list are the most powerful lessons i learned this year.

1) It’s Okay To Not Be Okay


    – Possibly the biggest lesson I have learned is this one right here. I have always battled with the pitfalls of wanting to be perfect all the time. Always wanting to look perfect, having the perfect grades, soon enough have the perfect boyfriend and always be the perfect daughter. Truth is, perfection is boring and absolutely insane. I have come to learn that the most beautiful people I know are rough around the edges, have a few cracks– which allows their inner light to shine through and are not ashamed of the story that their lives tell. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to spend a day in your room, but most importantly, it’s okay to pick yourself up, no matter how slowly and walk freely again.


2) Quality over Quantity in Friendships
      – I was raised in the era of popular girls (Popular, Can’t Hardly Wait, Clueless, Mean Girls etc) therefore it has been embedded in my mind that the more friends you have the better of a person you are. In truth, it’s okay to have a few friends but they are the ones who nurture your soul and push you to be the best person that you can be. They may break your heart every once in awhile but know that they will always have your back when you break yours.


3) The One That Got Away Isn’t The One For You
     – There was a fascination with Katy Perry’s song with the same title for a few months at the beginning of the year. But I have come to realize that if someone was truly meant to be a part of my life, he wouldn’t have gotten away. So i’ll begin the year by taking this out of my playlist, no matter how catchy the tune is, and focus on the ones who are yet to come. The ones who are truly meant to be in our lives.


4) Be The One Who Got Away, Not The One Who Overstayed
     – I’ve tweeted this several times over the year in order to remind myself that when something isn’t working it is best to simply pack your bags and walk away. Or better yet, throw away the baggage and run free. Stop trying to make something that obviously isn’t working, work. It would leave scars that was meant to be there in the first place.

5) Real Friends Don’t…
    – Laugh at your weaknesses. Talk behind your back. Compete With You. Friendships should be treated the same way as relationships, if someone is not treating you with respect and chooses to bring you down to feel good about themselves or suck your positive energy replacing it with theirs, then by all means… WALK AWAY.


6) Love Yourself Enough To Walk Away
     – Jennifer Lopez quoted this when asked about her divorce with Marc Anthony and it makes a lot of sense. A real man will not cheat on you or abuse you in any way. We can never rest in our laurels, thinking that allow a man to destroy us will help him become a better person. Also ladies, it’s time to drop this fascination with the bad boys thinking you can’t fix them. Here’s news for you: they don’t want to be fixed.


7) Immerse Yourself in the Little Things and Be Happy
    – Our God is a Big God and therefore miracles become a day to day thing for us. However, there are times when we caught up in the big things that we forget that God is also very much alive in the small things, that every smile from a stranger, every little “I can’t believe that happened to me” like finding a parking space in a crowded area, or a friend ringing out of the blue when you’re feeling bad is God’s little reminder of His love for you. So celebrate them!


8) Let Go and Let God
    – I was extremely worried in the last few months of the year but I have come to realize that being worried meant I didn’t trust in the power that God has over every single aspect of my life. In order to trust a God so big I must know who my God is. My God is Great, yes but most importantly, My God is Good and He loves me and wouldn’t allow anything to harm me or those that i love and pray for. So instead of worrying, I get on my knees and pray.


9) Relax.
    – I was offended by a friend about a month ago when he told me to “just chillax”. I disliked it simply because it didn’t go with my neurotic nature, but in truth it made a lot of sense. There is absolutely no need to be neurotic all the time. I must learn to take a deep breath and understand that things are working the way that they should.


10) Eat that Darn Chocolate.
     – I spent countless meals skipping on dessert simply because I needed to be an impossible kind of skinny. Truth is, I exert a lot of effort into working out and I deserve a slice of cake and a glorious bite of dark chocolate. It’s not a sin to enjoy life and that includes eating food that just make you light up on the inside. Workout so you can eat all the things that you want!


11) Friends Is Possibly THE BEST SHOW on the planet
     – In  December 2011, I met the love of my life, Ross Gellar and well, Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe. I have never been a fan but now, I have fallen hook, line and sinker.

12) Don’t Settle Your Long-Term Dreams For Short Term Happiness
     – Just a few days ago, I was extremely tempted to settle for something less than what I deserve simply because i’ve been feeling a little lonely. But thank God for well meaning friends who put a stop for it before making probably the biggest mistake of my life. I have come to realize that patience goes a long way and that whatever God has planned for me, it is definitely worth the wait.


13) If A Man Wants You, He Will Call
      – If a man wants to be with me, he will exhaust all options to be with me. No waiting around for him to reply to my BBM or text messages or mentions on twitter, he will simply be there all the time and if he isn’t well it could only mean one thing: he’s calling someone else.


14) Funny Is The New Sexy
       – Nothing is sexier than a man who is funny and intelligent. And I heard laughing burns a whole lot of calories.


15) Befriend Someone Totally The Opposite of Who You Are
       – This year, I have been blessed with friends who I wouldn’t even think of befriending at the beginning of the year. They have pushed me to have a more disciplined relationship with God and have helped me weather a few tough storms. So today, take a moment to look at someone who you think you have nothing in common with and be surprised.


16) Be Grateful.
      – The reason why we constantly feel depleted is because we forget to be grateful. There are so many beautiful things to be thankful for that we should focus on. Whatever the day brings your way, believe that God is working on your behalf and you are filled with His favor, therefore you are always at the right place at exactly the right time. It is important to always be thankful because that way we attract more positive energy that brings greater blessings our way.


17) Speak Up.
      – Out of fear, we often learn the art of just saying yes. My dad taught me this valuable lesson that if I cannot get things done, it is best to say no and say that I’ll try. I have been a people pleaser in the past but I’m breaking free, slowly but surely. It’s okay to say how you feel and not be burdened by it, but say it nicely and still be careful with your words as to not to offend anyone.


18) What People Say About You Is A Reflection of Who They Are.
     – This is probably another of the greatest lessons of 2011. Instead of fighting back when something is said about me that is entirely false, it is best to walk away knowing that hurt people hurt other people, therefore if someone says anything negative about you, it is always a reflection of who they are or where they hurt. Don’t fight back. Choose your battles.


19) Be Kind. Everyone You Meet Is Fighting A Battle.
      – Often when people attack other people it is probably because their tank is already filled with so many negative things that they can’t help but blow up. The rational act is to fight back but in truth it would only make the other person hurt even more, so the best thing to do is simply to let it go and fight back with kindness. Be the bigger person and you may help another be better as well.  Hold your tongue and know that your kindness goes a long way.


20) Nice Girls Always Win.
      – In the early 2000s, it was the era of Cady Heron and The Mean Girls thus creating a flock of girls who would constantly gripe about other girls to constantly feel good about themselves. But that era is over, I am amazed at how many nice girls are making the spotlight these days: those whose beauty radiates from the inside and their kindness is infectious in so many ways that it is quite believable that there are better days ahead for girls everywhere. I am also a constant believer that no matter what happens, nice girls always always win.    


and most importantly,


21) Our God is a Progressive God.


   – Entering into a New Year is always exciting and a bit scary for everyone, but you should know that God has good plans for you and that He is a Progressive God, if you just had your best year ever, believe that God has even greater things instore for you and your family in the coming year. Hold your ground believing and declaring and receiving all that God has for you this year.

Own God’s promises for you and you will own this year.

Stand strong in Jesus, hold on tight, the best is yet to come.

i should have been a psychologist.


and i’d like to think that i partly am because of the type of job i’m in but in truth, i also like overanalyzing myself and the current situation that i am. this is the reason why on most days i don’t really erupt, i just silently sit or cry or just stare out into space when conflict arises.

well, today all of that logic crap flew out of the window.

and i wasn’t entirely proud of myself but in a way, i kind of felt that hey maybe it’s okay to show emotions sometimes, of course i get we shouldn’t be controlled by our emotions but at the same time we shouldn’t drown in them either and i think that’s what i’ve been doing which is why i just blew my top today.

i am not proud of it and it will probably not happen again in a long time but i guess it’s okay, it’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to cry about it.

God makes me super but on my own, i’m pretty much a mess.

So here’s another day that i thank Jesus for constantly saving me from myself.

“I have no idea where you are out there in the world, John. But I understand that I lost the right to know these things long ago. No matter how many years go by, I know one thing to be as true as ever was – I’ll see you soon then.” 
                            -Dear John

I hope you are happy beautiful boy with the golden eyes because you deserve all the beautiful things that this world has to offer.

“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ”me first”, doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of the truth, puts up with anything.

Trusts God always.
Always looks for the best.
Never looks back.

But keeps going until the end.”

– 1 Corinthians 13:3-7

Remember that as a child of God you are filled with great authority and joy over all things. Know that God is a good God and will not allow anything harmful to happen to you. Whatever it is that you are going through, believe that God’s plans for you and for your family are FOR THE GOOD. He plans for you to have long, healthy, abundant lives. 


Believe what you have in the name of Jesus and declare it upon your family. The best is yet to come. Start believing God for big and great things, remember that He is the God of the impossible and you will see His miracles manifest in your life everyday.


Nothing is too hard for him. Nothing too difficult. Cling on to Him. He hears every word and catches every tear.

On most days, it’s like an obsession.


It starts with a simple comment or a simple click on the page of a frenemy.

It starts out as a harmless comment, “I think she gained weight” until it propels into something deeper, “I think it’s because of all the pills she’s been taking” and so on and so forth.

Ah, the sweet sensation of talking about other people and finding ways to feel good about ourselves.


Of course as we talk about other people it’s often “out of concern” and is not meant to “undermine”.

I say this with uttermost humility simply because I have been both a proponent and a victim of evil gossiping.

In a culture that celebrates and thrives on information that are too juicy to not to be passed on, it is quite difficult not to relish in extremely shocking news that must be passed on and talked about.

Most of the time, the target of gossip are the ones in the spotlight (like a certain private video gone viral or a popular actor’s refusal to come out of the closet) but on most days, we often sprinkle our days with gossip about our officemates, acquaintances and even the people close to us.

It would be self-righteous of me to say that it is wrong because I am not excluded from a little chitter- chatter every now and then. But unlike in earlier years, I do feel a little pang of guilt whenever I discuss a person in a light that is a little darker than what it should have been.

What starts out as harmless often ends up as dangerous.

To avoid gossip, people would go from condemning it “how would you feel if it was done to you” to the justifying it, “everyone talks about everyone anyway”.

And the reason for his maybe because it’s fun. It may be fun to see flaws into someone’s rather perfect life but at the same time, it can be terribly haunting because 9/10 times, we are called to love.


And love as discussed in  a popular 1 Corinthians verse demands us to “always believe in the best in people,” which may not be entirely easy especially when the words, “okay this is top secret information but did you know…”

I may be writing this entry out of guilt, but at the same time it’s also out of disappointment of myself.

I grew up bullied, misunderstood and often accused of saying things I didn’t even say which is why gossip is a stickler topic for me and yet on most days, I find myself lost in a world of hearsay, even saying things that may be a bit innocent at the beginning but could be deadly when misinterpreted another way.

It’s a process really but the process must not be used as an excuse to tear someone down just because i’m feeling a bit low.

Truth be told, gossip may be harmless and a little fun, but on most days, IT IS ALWAYS DAMAGING to the person spreading the gossip (and/or passing judgement) and to the person on the receiving end.

It may be difficult to tame the tongue but once again, it must not be used as an excuse to constantly try to bring other people down.

We have been so used to this that most of time conversations come to a halt when one suggests to keep other people’s lives out of a lunch conversation.

I honestly don’t know where to start but I know that there are unsettled issues in my heart that need to be resolved, because it is true that out of the mouth the heart speaks.

So for those of you who just like me want to try a little harder, maybe we should all face the heart issue first and from there, find confidence that as long as we ask help from Him, He will cleanse our hearts and soon our mouths would follow.

A little challenging but the promise is a worry-free, drama-free life.

I say… it is quite worth it.

however, unlike the one that is in your head brought upon by preconceived notion of a fairytale, this one doesn’t quite fit the bill.

in fact to be really honest, this is the love story found in the books unless you’re reading one of those really dark ones that i secretly love but i’m getting ahead of myself.

this is a story about a girl who had a crush on a boy that was way out of her league (ah, yes this begins with a classic geek, i’m not a cheerleader kind of plot, i have come to realize that yes, this part happens in real life all the time) but was given the chance to meet him around this time last year.

she was sweating buckets on that day and could hardly focus on her real day job but alas, finally the time came.

from the moment she met him, she thought that finally, her dreams were coming true, that this was the happily ever after that she has been waiting for.

fast forward to a year later and the girl could only look back with a little bit of regret but a lot of laughter.

oh how silly she has been.

turns out the dream boy was nothing but just that – a dream, an illusion of perfection but fell short on every single page.

truth is, he is a prince charming, but he just wasn’t hers.

he was an illusion of all sorts, one she created when she was 19.
the girl realized that the only thing in common with him and the guy she created in her head were their faces.

she then realized the dangers of falling in love (but in reality it was mere infatuation) with someone she didn’t even have a conversation with. that yes, it’s quite exciting in the movies but never quite as exciting in real life.

in a year, she got her ego crushed and her heart fauxly broken but she could just laugh if off now because it meant that finally she was giving up the notion andslash fake reality she created for herself that held her back for so long.

it was indeed nothing like she expected but it made something in her change and suddenly the things that used to matter about a person faded into a background.

in a year she learned about what truly mattered and what did not and she could only hope that the lessons would be worth the ego crushing experience, especially when she finally meets the prince charming who may be a little too busy with someone who isn’t his damsel.

the girl understands that it isn’t the time yet and she has to make use of the time in between to understand that maybe just maybe she doesn’t have to change who she is in order to be loved by the one God made just for her.

until then, ted mosby is just fine.

PS: okay, maybe that ted mosby bit revealed who the “girl” is but ee.

i’ve fallen in love with so many shows in my 23 years.

however, i remember the day i fell in love with the one that i will be committed to for nine years.

ETC was a fairly new channel that promised to air fairly new episodes of US TV shows, of course in 2004 that meant a few months later but nonethless it was “fresh”. i recently saw a commercial about two adorably cute boys and basketball and from the moment i caught a glimpse of the commercial. i knew i had to watch it.

i clearly remember being in my grandfather’s office, watching the first episode wherein a still scrawny Nathan was challenging Lucas to a game in the River Court:

from the first episode, i was hooked, i remember going home every Tuesday extra excited for 8 PM to come. understand that in the “stone” ages of early 2000s, shows were difficult to download so you had to wait a week to know what will happen in the next episode. the days in between Tuesday went by so slowly.

however, each episode was often worth the wait. i could still remember me in my room crying every Tuesday night and seeing the transformation of Nathan Scott.

and just like any fanatic, i couldn’t really pin point the reason why i loved One Tree Hill so much, there were so many shows that came and went by somehow, i couldn’t let go of this one show that i grew up with. truth be told, the years in high school were probably the best and i wasn’t as in love with the seasons that came after, but still One Tree Hill is One Tree Hill.

for one thing i loved the fact that someone like Nathan Scott ended up with Haley James. The jock with tutor girl, up to this very day, i fervently wish that the jock would fall in love with the nerd.

i also enjoyed Brooke’s transformation from being a typical cheerleader to someone who boldly said: “zero is not a size”.  it was also great to see her to finally end up with someone after all those broken hearts.

and yes, i do love peyton sawyer as much as your average Tree Hill but i’ve always been in love with her room and her art:

and i’m all for Lucas and Peyton, but there was something special about Jake and Peyton:

also i would always be nostalgic about karen’s cafe and the golf course in the rooftop, keith and those epic basketball games:

and it would be impossible to ask me what my favorite One Tree Hill Quote is because seriously, after nine years there’s just too much and most of them you can find in this blog. however, i would like to credit the writers of One Tree Hill for including amazingly beautiful quotations by classic writers at the end of each episode for it has made me become more interested in them.

i cannot believe that One Tree Hill is finally ending and it has been almost a decade since i fell in love with Nathan Scott. above everything else, i will remember One Tree Hill as the one that I came home to when things were bad at school, the place where I could be Brooke, Peyton and Haley for awhile to escape the reality of my life and it would always remind me, that maybe just maybe, “being Haley is just enough”.

Good Night, Tree Hill. The memories would live on and don’t worry, my kids will definitely know about you.

My love life isn’t all that exciting which makes my dad a very comfortable man.

For one thing, I really don’t meet a lot of guys on a daily basis simply because I spend most of my days with miniature adults or virtual leading men like Ted, Sheldon, Leonard, Tad Hamilton.

I remember my dad quietly approving the first and only one i liked probably because i was a tad taller than him and he seemed harmless.

The second one i liked exactly a year ago, he didn’t.
I think the main reason why that didn’t work was because my dad really disliked the guy in question.

Three months later, I discovered why my dad was against him.

So today during our short grocery trip, my dad reviewed the tips he gave me about two years earlier.

1) If a man wants you, he will let you and the world know.


    –  A man will go exhaust all the means to be with you. My dad even told me that i wouldn’t even have to worry about it because  the guy who really wants to be with me will be calling every single time. My dad also told me that he would show me off to the world. This means holding my hand in public, picking me up from my seat and so on. He would send me tweets and not ignore them. I would have pictures on his profile but not in an overly sweet way but in a way that says the world that yes he is taken.


2) If a man wants you he will look your father in the eye.


   – My dad loves telling me this. He always says, “i don’t like him because he can’t look at me in the eye.” He also told me that the guy who is sure of his feelings will talk to him and not creep behind his back.


3) Never be with a guy who drinks every weekend and puts his friends over family first.


    – My dad absolutely detests guys who do nothing but drink and party. There’s nothing wrong with the occasional social drinking etc but he detests guys who do nothing but that. He loves saying it this way, “mahilig lang sa good time.” 


4) Looks will fade. Principles and values of a man will not.


   – My dad says this in a very loving way, “Wala ka makukuha sa puro porma”, this I have learned the hard way over the years. I learned this particular lesson a year ago with the guy i previously liked. Looks fade and most guys who focus too much on their good looks are simply too busy being vain that they cannot take care of their woman. Usually because of their good looks they think that they’re God’s gift to women and given the ticket to treat them badly.


and his favorite one:


5) A man will be with an easy girl but only until it’s exciting. The time would come and my dad assures that it will come, that he would leave an easy girl for a decent one.


– My dad loves telling me this. He loves telling me that when it’s easy for a guy since he wouldn’t lose anything he’d go ahead and be with a girl. But my dad assures me that when the time comes, the guy would drop the easy girl to be with a girl who is worthy of the pursuit.

Above all, I thank my dad for being the kind of man that he is. By loving my mom he has shown me through his actions what a real man should be like. I also thank him for being a good father because it has stopped me from going out with jerks simply because i get the care and attention that i need right at home.

The right man hasn’t found me yet (yes, he has to do the finding) but i know when the time comes, my dad would be proud when walking me down the aisle simply because he taught me well.