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The Romanticizing of The Martial Law and The People Power Revolution
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It was one of those things that you heard about but didn’t quite grasp simply because you weren’t there to experience its effects. At 26, I may experience its long standing effects but my mind couldn’t seem to comprehend what it’s like to have a curfew other than what my parents have set and as a writer, what it’s like to have your voice silenced.
A few months ago, the trends #NeverAgain and #NeverForget roamed in my social media timelines as a result of youngsters who never went through martial law crying for the government to reconsider it. In the mark of the 29th year of the People Power Revolution, I decided to go beyond what was taught in the classroom to take a full grasp of what really transpired.
Truth is, information about is readily available, a quick Google search will lead you to numerous articles, images, photos, and commentary not unlike this one. There’s an economic look at it that I rather enjoyed (read it here), a controversial one from humanitarian aid worker Caroline Kennedy (read it here), and of course, the ever reliable Wikipedia.
Numerous articles have discussed the violence that happened after dark and most importantly, the silencing of one’s freedom of speech. As I browsed through pages and pages of what transpired back then, it made me shiver. Coming from a generation who can’t help but post their “opinions” on their social media sites every hour of every day, the thought of being banned to do so can be quite alarming.
And while I initially wanted this to be an understanding of what went on during the dark days of the country, the real question echoes louder, how has the country changed since then? How has it changed the way we view things? Do charming leaders and their partners still easily sway us without really studying what they have to show for? Are we simply repeating history and passing today’s government as better simply because we’re not told to go home at a certain hour?
Have we romanticized martial law and its effects to the point of wanting to go back to it?
Have we made better choices in terms of our leaders or are we simply choosing the best thief amidst the candidates? Have we simply accepted graft and corruption as a way of life? Have we lost all hope? Have we stopped believing that change can happen?
And most importantly, do we still continue to blame past administrations for what is currently happening in the country or are we proactively acting towards positive change? We can continue to blame the Marcoses all we want and yes, our reasons are legit, but has our blaming stopped us from moving forward?
May we all think of these thoughts as we celebrate our 29th year of freedom and at the same time, ask ourselves, have we been using that freedom well?
The Tinderella Experiment
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When I was a child, I enjoyed watching fairytales. My romantic idealism was heavily influenced by three things: the young adult novels I devoured, the Disney movies my dad used to keep his ADD (short attention span) infused daughter entertained, and chick flicks starring but not limited to Freddie Prinze Jr., Drew Barrymore, Ryan Philippe, and Rachel Leigh Cook. Naively, I hoped to have a meet-cute* story of my own to share. You know bumping into someone at the bookstore while you both reach for the same book (still my favorite imagined story to date), however, I am quick to remind myself that we are no longer in the early millennium and have now entered into what I dare say, The Tinder Age.
Tinder, for most of you folks who don’t know (have you been living under a rock?), describes itself as “how people meet, its like real life, only better.” Wikipedia goes on to say that Tinder is a matchmaking mobile app that uses geolocation technology to find your match. So in simplistic terms, it’s an app just like your Facebook app but leads you to a database of people you can meet up with at any given time.
Convenient right?
Most people would be quick to argue that Tinder is for simply “meeting” people just like you would in bar while others say that it was created for the purposes of hooking up and everything else that happens after dark.
To be fair, I first heard of Tinder in late 2012 when a friend of mine showed me his Grinder app (the Tinder for the LGBT community) and back then it was said to be an app for hooking up so you would understand my initial apprehension. However, as more and more countries adapt to it, even the more conservative ones in Southeast Asia, it has evolved into a bar on wheels and is perceived to be no different than going out and meeting people in clubs. It’s safe to say that the stigma of being branded as “thirsty” no longer applies. I never really gave it much thought until friends of mine started using it and that’s when The Tinderella Experiment was born.
The Tinderella Experiment (term coined by my good friend, Juliet) is the process of downloading the Tinder app and using it for research purposes only. After hearing so many stories about the app (there is a good mix of happy and terror stories), my friends and I decided to give it a go collectively using Juliet’s Facebook profile during one particularly boring lunch hour. The results were hilarious and while nobody received any indecent proposal yet as of this writing, there have been successful matches that we didn’t bother responding to. We simply wanted to see what the hype was about, check out the dating pool to see if we were missing out (turns out, we weren’t as far as our distances were concerned) and just like anything experimental, drop it.
The Tinderella Experiment was thoroughly enjoyable simply because we weren’t in it to win it. The experiment brought my friends and I together through its hilarious profiles (no offense) and the crazy moments when actually see someone you know. It did, however, make me rethink about today’s dating culture. Is Tinder a form of settling or just like anything else in life, a better, quicker way of doing things? Does it make me less of a person if I sign up for it or does it make me new age? These were the thoughts that simply couldn’t be answered by swiping left or right.
It’s safe to say that the Philippines IS still generally a safe place to Tinder in. My friends who have tried it have said that Pinoy men are still cautious and not too straightforward (as of writing, at the very least) and nobody has been outrageous enough to simply want the deed. What saddens me though is seeing some of fully committed men (either through verbal agreement or legit vows) also snooping around to see if there’s someone better out there.
And while I may be too conservative for my own sake, I do believe that people have the right to live life the way they want them to and for this reason, I freely give single people the chance to Tinder all they want (sige na nga, kahit yung nasa dating stages palang, hmph!). However, my old soul refuses to accept the fact that some thoroughly committed men (and possibly women) still Tinder to their heart’s delight. As in anything in life, it’s not the app itself that’s a bad thing but in how we use it. If you’re single and not actively pursuing anyone, I can’t judge you for how you choose to find true love. But if you are married or committed as in committed, then I am judging you a bit. Why window-shop when you can’t buy? Most importantly, why commit if you still want to window shop? Have we really turned into an entitled generation that has proven that enough is never enough? Do we no longer take our words seriously and stuff like… uh… commitment? Are we always on the lookout for something better? And when we find better, do we leave people behind? Ang tanong ko lang talaga naman is this: bakit hanap ka pa ng hanap kung meron ka na sa tabi mo? Kung gusto mo mag enjoy (or explore), bakit hindi ka na lang makipag break?
That frustration aside, I don’t find anything wrong with the app and while I personally would not choose it, I don’t look at those who do differently. I’ve always believed that there’s no one way of doing life but I just personally prefer to do mine the old fashioned way. That being said, I do believe it all boils down to people wanting company and wanting to be wanted and I believe that everyone’s entitled to it no matter how they find it.
Squad
Earlier today, I came across Taylor Swift’s interview on The Telegraph (Yes, I’m a Swiftie and yes, I also love Drake so buzz off) and what caught my attention was how her life has shifted from dating high profile men to developing friendships with equally successful women.
Not for Me
The phrase was coined by one of today’s most beloved feminists although I couldn’t quite place which one of the three: Mindy Kaling, Amy Poehler, or Tina Fey. I’ve read their books around the same time and my exhaustion from the gym is getting in the way of my memory at the moment.
Being a man in a macho world
MANHOOD has always been associated with three words: brawn, money, and power. Men have long been told that in order to be a real man, it’s important to be macho, regardless of how you treat other people.
As a sister to two brothers, this thought can be quite alarming. Is this all that is expected of men these days? That as long as he has fame, fortune, and brawn he can go around treating people, especially women, with no respect?
Men are supposed to be leaders but lately, it seems like more men are on the endless Peter Pan syndrome: wanting all the perks of adulthood without actually committing to the responsibilities of being one.
These thoughts were on my mind when a good friend, Jodi Sta. Maria, gave and encouraged me to read the book Act Like a Man by Dennis Sy. Dennis, who is the senior pastor of Victory Greenhills, jumpstarted the movement actlikeaman.org in the hopes of helping “Filipino men to become more responsible, accept responsibilities, be productive, and treat women with love and respect.” The blog, which is the leading blog for men in Asia, was created out of the lack of resources teaching men the virtues mentioned above.
When asked what inspired him to create a book as inspired by the movement, he answered, “We live in an age today where men have remained boys. It’s what we call Peter Pan syndrome—boys who shave. The book is an answer and a tool for men to live out real manhood today by embracing their unique roles in the family and society.”
The book highlights the importance of accepting the role given to men, to not simply be passive about the lives they are leading but being active in knowing what their passions are and in living a life that is true to these passions. For Dennis, being a man is more than just what he receives from those around him, but lies in what he contributes to his family and society.
He explained, “Men are to be producers. Men, in our culture, have been defined by what we consume rather than by what we produce. We need to tend our fields and be fruitful in whatever field God has called us. When men start to see themselves as cultivators, it would reflect in our marriages. We would treat our wife with respect and love her exclusively. We would commit to be faithful to her. We would be planners and bring direction to our marriages and family.”
Dennis added that taking responsibility is the first step in becoming the man the society seeks for today. Men who know their purpose, act on it, and surround themselves with mentors who would teach them the truth about being a real man.
That being a man, unlike what society teaches, has nothing to do with what a man gets but in what he can give to those around him.
And while finding men with purpose, passion, and values maybe similar to finding a needle in a haystack, it’s men like Dennis who are brave enough to pursue their purpose prove that there is hope after all. That maybe, just maybe, one man’s bravery would be enough to start a change that’s most needed in today’s generation.
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For more on Dennis Sy and the book Act Like a Man, visit actlikeaman.org.
www.carlabiancaravanes.com
Love the Leap
Taking the Leap with Love, Agnessi
I won’t even deny it that I am the biggest cookie lover I know (well, next to my brother, Carl).
We all have that one friend we can depend on and for me, that person has always been Elyds.
As a child, hilig ko na talaga magsulat. There’s nothing more exhilarating than having your thoughts transform into words right before your own eyes. I never thought much of my passion for writing. I thought it was just a past time and a way to let go of my angst.





