“Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there. Because you can’t remember a time in your life when it wasn’t, but then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong, only because it’s so unfamiliar, then in that moment you realize you’re happy.”

“I don’t know anyone who isn’t haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet- our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest- finally, finally to rest.”

Just like Dawson and Joey. Brooke and Lucas. Todd and Elizabeth. Robert and Stacey, a saga has definitely ended. I would rather not get into the minute and depressing details because I now believe in leaving the past behind and just moving forward. Going through the agonizing details won’t exactly do me any good which is why I believe that it’s better to not recount the details and just say that the saga has finally ended.

The end of this particular saga didn’t faze me like it should. Instead, just like any ended saga in history, it made me feel victorious. It made me feel victorious because I finally got over something that has eaten me up for so long.

I also feel victorious because I looked at the story in a whole new light thanks to my good friend, Donna. Instead of making me sad and instead of making me want to delete that particular chapter of my life, Donna made me realize that it served its purpose.
It served its purpose because it made me stronger and looked at things in a whole new perspective. As cliché as it may sound, it’s true that experiences are there to teach us something and not learning from them is the worst that could happen to anyone.
Looking back on this particular story used to make me upset and on really bad days, make me cry and question my self-worth but these days I see it as something that made me who I am today and I dare say that who I am today is so much better than who I was yesterday so I guess I owe that person that.

I can constantly try to blame that person for everything bad that happened to me but in a way, I allowed it to happen so I guess I can’t fully blame him, but then again, that’s not my point. The point is, that person did cause my life unnecessary drama but I guess at some point, it was worth something so in a silly way I’m grateful.

I’m just happy that the saga finally ended. It’s one of those things that I’m thankful to the Lord for.

It’s finally over and I’m finally shutting that chapter for good!

Is this all that should be
when water gets rough
will you still swim with me
so afraid to come close
it may be too soon
it may be too much
for you to consume

For a while, my cynicism overpowered me and I stopped believing in miracles. Just like that I no longer believed in it. But after watching The Secret for a million times, I decided that the only way that miracles could happen is if I start believing in them first.

I couldn’t have been more right. I really can’t say what happened but it was an answered prayer. The Lord has been so soo good:)

I know I have been neglecting my blog and haven’t been dishing out stories about my life but I will soon. I’ll also be posting pictures of our chaotic but very fun warehouse sale and the first christmas party of the year.

I’m just really so happy and this kind of happiness isn’t something that I could just ignore and not blog about.

I’m happy.

I’m happy.

I’m happy.

I’m contented.

I’m happy.

Life’s BEEN TREATING ME REALLY WELL LATELY AND I KNOW THAT IT COULD ONLY GET BETTER!

Just a short two weeks ago, I told myself that I couldn’t even feel Christmas.

But when I woke up yesterday, things were different. I could finally feel Christmas. I don’t know with you guys, but I have this feeling that I could only feel during Christmas.

I really don’t know what it is. It’s just that during those cold days before Christmas and a few days after Christmas, I start feeling it.

It’s honestly the best feeling in the world.

And no matter what I do all year long when the feeling is gone, it’s gone.

Surely it made me excited about Christmas and the NEW YEAR. There are just so many possiblities and so many new beginnings to unravel that the thought makes me smile all over again.

I don’t think I have a grown up wish list this year maybe because I already have so many things that I’m grateful for. There are little things but I have the rest of my life to find them so there’s nothing in particular that I wish to have this Christmas.

GOD has been so good, the past year was rough but it got better towards the end. 🙂

Words aren’t enough to explain just how beautiful Christmas is.

“You cannot leave everything to fate, boy. She’s got alot to do, sometimes you must give her a hand.”
–Ever After


I’ve been a writer ever since I could remember. Letters have been the perfect way of communication for me and I have a stack of diaries retelling my life ever since I was seven and I’ve been writing fiction as well for the longest time.

I guess this only proves just how much I love to write and how much I believe in the power of the written or spoken word. Words are amazing ways to express how we really feel.

I’ve never believed in the message of the cheesy song, “More Than Words”, for me that was a dumb song because truly the only way that one could express how they feel by saying it. There’s no other way. Actions don’t mean anything unless backed up by passionate words or promises.

However, past events of my life proved my belief otherwise. Lately, I’ve come to realize that I may have overstated the use of words and understated the importance of actions.

I know they have to go hand in hand with one another but sometimes, actions prove to be more sincere than any amount of words could even muster.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is this: I know what you’re trying to tell me and I hope you know what I’m trying to tell you. I cannot say to whom I am saying this to but I hope my actions are enough. In the past couple of months of my life, I dutifully ignored your actions and failed to speak what I’m really trying to say.

The main reason I wanted to use words to express how I feel is because I’ve never been good with depicting body language or another person’s actions. That’s the reason why things got messy.

You believed in expressing how you feel through actions.
I believed in expressing how I feel through words.

I just never found the right ones in the past month but I do hope that this blog entry would somehow make up for it.

I get what you’re trying to say. I know where you’re getting at and believe it or not, the lack of words won’t stop me from understanding where you’re coming from.

It’s all making sense to me now; I just hope it isn’t too late.

I hope we’d meet somewhere in the middle because all this miscommunication is driving me crazy.

Our actions are getting way ahead of our words.

But I am trying.



At this point, it’s really not helping.

I badly want to watch Enchanted. I’m seriously considering skipping the game tomorrow to go and watch it at Gateway. That is how badly I want to see that movie. And the game’s going to be a good one tomorrow and I badly want to skip it.

I’ve always been in love with fairytales and I’ve always believed that somewhere along the way, my own fairytale would come true.

But in between seven and nineteen years old, life happens.

And it makes you realize that your real life Prince Charming is nowhere near McDreamy (More McSteamy actually) and the job you’ve always dreamed of doesn’t exactly land you on People’s Most Beautiful list.

As you grow older you come to realize that things don’t just happen. Things don’t just come out with one wave of our fairy god mother’s magnificent wand and the world doesn’t stop to cry with you when things go shitty.

Neither does it turn a pumpkin into a beautiful coach nor does it turn mice to men (don’t you just wish for the opposite?). Reality knocks at your door and opens it without being invited. Things don’t happen as soon as we wish on a star.

Compared to our childhood dreams of happily ever afters, reality sucks. Compared to dances, fairies, the lost boys and Esmeralda, this world that we’re stuck with doesn’t even come close and it makes you wonder if watching so many fairytales when you’re young would lead to psychotic meltdowns when you’re older because you expect too much fairy dust and have lesser understanding of reality.

Maybe, it’s just me.

It was disappointing at first and having to take off your rose colored glasses for the first time leaves you feeling naked and vulnerable. It makes you feel scared and insecure. But after awhile, you’d realize that you have your own inner strength to depend on.

It would make you realize that even if life throws so many Cruela De Vils or Stepmonsters your way, you’d still be okay. You’d realize that it may have not been the fairy tale that you’ve dreamed of after watching Beauty and the Beast, but it’s still worth it.

Fairy dusts and wishes on the star are overrated anyway because I’ve come to realize that when you get something at a snap of a finger you wouldn’t appreciate it as much as when you’ve worked hard for it cried for it and fought hard to get it.

My story’s unique, it’s not easy and I don’t have a gallant fairy god mother or a knight to save me, but it’s okay.

I’m stitching my own tale and filling my life with characters that won’t even compare to those I’ve encountered in Disney movies and storybooks.

And I know, at the end of the day, I’d have better stories to tell my grandkids than all of the Cinderellas or Belles in the world.

BUBBLY

COLBIE CAILLAT

I’ve been awake for a while now
You make me feel like a child now
‘Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I going to say
When you make me feel this way
I just mmmmm

And it starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
‘Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I’m comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it stats in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
’cause you make me smile baby
Just take your time now
Holdin’ me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go
I always know
‘Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while

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Nolan would be so proud of me.

Yesterday, I finally got on an MRT and braved the streets of Manila.

Part of my job description is going to all of our stores and making sure that everything’s in place.

Yesterday I had to visit Trinoma and The Block. I also had a very early meeting at Shangri-la Plaza at 8:00 am and let me tell you the mall at 8:00 am isn’t such a pretty sight.

Doesn’t mean that I loved it any less.

I like the mall better at 8:00 am than at 12:00 pm.

Anyway, the original plan was to get on a cab go to the two malls then rush back to Jade Palace to make arrangements for our Christmas Party before returning back to the office.

Turns out the easiest way to get there is using the MRT. I couldn’t be more excited. The downside to being sheltered your entire life is the fact that when you finally get out to the real world you start collecting embarassing moments.

One of which is the fact that I keep smacking people accidentally with my umbrella, clobbering on my high heels under the crazy weather yesterday and not knowing how to insert the stupid MRT card into the slot. (I beg to differ, the thing was broken, that wasn’t my fault!)

Let me tell you one thing, walking from Trinoma to The Block on four inch heels isn’t such a pretty thing. Especially when small puddles of mud keep getting in the way, my legs are still so sore today.

It was such a Devil Wears Prada moment.

I was so proud of myself and thankful to my officemates because finally finally finally I have learned the art of commuting.

I fell in love with the MRT, it was like a touch of New York Subway right in the heart of Manila.

I so felt like BETTY SUAREZ.

“Above the noise, behind the glare I know you are listening to me out there“

-Prefab Sprout

Crazy Crazy Morning.

That is all I can say.

Thank God I love my job: It’s damn worth it:)