Fall

 

selective focus photography of orange and brown falling maple leaves

 

It’s Friday morning and I am spending the morning in the quiet of my own home. It has been nearly six weeks since I started working from home and while it is everything I have ever wanted it to be, it has also surprised me how much it’s not what I thought it would be.

But that conversation is for another time.

Today, I simply wanted to whisk away my journal (or rather pull up the page) and just let you know that today is a good day. I don’t know when the shift of the day happened but suddenly (and after weeks of being submerged in the tension of launching a new brand), I suddenly felt at peace. It can be attributed to the first few cold days of fall or the fact that my husband and I are going on a quick road trip to see family this weekend, but whatever it may be, I am simply taking the time to sit here by the tree that overshadows our apartment and just be. 

I am weathered enough to know that as with anything in life, nothing truly stays the same so I have learned to relish the little moments that make you thank God for this wonderful life.

Circumstances change, the season shifts, and life can sometimes disappoint – that is just the wave of life but I have come to learn that we must not be submerged by it. I lost my light in the many storms of life that ironically came in the middle of summer but as I sit here, I have come to realize that the best way to handle the storms of life is to remain calm and trust that God will never let you go.

I say this because as human instinct, we have the tendency to fight against the current of our lives. Instead of simply flowing with life, we fight against it and this is why life is so hard – we constantly fight what is. And while I admire grit and persistence (I was raised by my father after all), I still believe that surrendering is the best way to deal with the chaos. Finding the perfect balance between going after our goals and simply resting can be tricky and there are still days when I slip into the mantra of doing, doing, doing but on days like this, I am reminded that everything is okay. That no matter what challenges life throws at me, I can handle them because nothing that I have surrendered to the hands of God will truly be out of my control.

It’s ironic because to get to this status of peace and surrender, one must fight. People often think that a peaceful life is one that is achieved without a battle but the truth is achieving the life you want, however you may want it to be, is a fight. And most often than not, that fight is within ourselves. And we must have the courage to look within the deepest part of ourselves so we can heal and finally get the inner life that we have always wanted.

This is why reading Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lisa Gottlieb was very refreshing for me. 

It simply reminded me the importance of sitting with ourselves and having conversations about why we are the way that we are. We really have to sit down with ourselves, embrace the messy parts, and heal. Some of us our fortunate enough to be able to do this without therapy but most of the time, we need guidance. In the past years, I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by counselors and mentors who loved me enough to allow me to have a safe space and really let it all out. The road to healing is never clean, it’s messy but it is worth it.

But sometimes therapy is required. We need therapists not to tell us what we do but we need a space where we can fall apart and really dissect the true essence of who we are, what we are feeling, what our fears and regrets are as a way of breaking open. It’s a truly beautiful thing when we can live in a way that is authentic to us and our story.

Now as I type this, I have come to realize that maybe this is the reason why I am feeling so light today. Maybe I am feeling light because I have learned to let go of what I think should be and instead embrace the uncertainty of today. And while storms may weather us, it also has a positive advantage – it strengthens us. It makes us even more confident because we have faced storms and even if it attempted to destroy us – we walked out of it even better. So truly, there is nothing to fear.

So there goes my break for the day, it’s time to get back to work 🙂

 

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