Which on my case has always been easier said than done. Somehow, it’s always been easier for me to advice my friends to let it all go and just LIVE LIVE LIVE.

I promised an old friend of mine that that’s what I’ll be doing—living in the moment and not overanalyzing every situation. Not tearing it up to pieces like I always tend to do but instead just eat it up, digest it and move on.

What I can’t fully understand is how can you move on from such a precious thing? How can you not overanalyze over something that made you so happy?

Something that made you feel so blessed? I’ve had this nagging thought that the Lord won’t allow you to experience something so miraculous, something you’ve prayed for since you were fifteen and have Him snatch it away from under your nose without an explanation.

Right now, the only purpose of that situation for me is the fact that it’s bringing me closer to God. It’s making me hunger for His word and it’s something that I haven’t felt before. I’m rising to a whole new level of spiritual maturity and it’s such an empowering thing. It makes me look forward to each day, knowing that a surprise is lurking somewhere.

For the first time ever, despite my nagging fears and doubts, I’ve surrendered it all to Him.

But that doesn’t mean that I still don’t get an impending fear whenever the situation is brought up. I’m not particularly sure how to “live in the moment” probably because I’ve never actually done it before.

Does living in the moment entitle you to not think about it anymore? To not go over what happened? Is living in the moment forgetting about it the next day? By living in the moment, does it mean that you can’t relive the moments once its done?

Am I confusing living in the moment with moving on? Honestly guys your suggestions would really do me good at this point.

I guess, at the end of the day, it all boils down to faith. Faith that the Lord knows what He’s doing and He doesn’t need my help in allowing things to fall into place. He pretty much has it covered.

It’s probably my freak OC tendencies which makes me want to control every situation in my life, especially the ones that plays such a significant role.

But looking back, I’ve come to realize that maybe it doesn’t work that way. As I look back on the major decisions I’ve made in the past three years of my life, I’ve come to realize that well, I didn’t plan any of them.

Like going to the college I went to wasn’t what I had in mind and the course that I took up was different from the wanted and I might say that I’m happy with where I am right now in my life.

I know I’m where I’m supposed to be but with other aspects of my life, I’m not so sure.

But I’m putting my blind faith into this. Blind faith, hoping that things will work out and there would be no more tears for me. God knows how much I’ve been trying to get away from situations like these and for it to magically appear in my face is unfair. I know He’s gracious and He has a plan so I’m keeping the faith.

***
I wish everyone would feel what I felt recently.

Everyone deserves to be happy, even if it’s just for five minutes.

Everyone deserves to have their greatest wish to be granted. Everyone deserves to be happy and not to have it taken away from them.

Pray, my darling, it could only get better.

Enjoy the rest of the week! Be Blessed!